Even I Sold My Ferrari

Today I am 23; He is Dead.

2012-01-15T16:34:00.000+05:30

I have a kid inside me, everyone has. The one inside me is one-legged. He lost his leg when I was 17, and he was 8.. That kid got up this morning, and said to me, “I think I am no more a kid. I feel my life is over, ‘cuz I was meant to be a kid, and I don’t feel so anymore. I feel like giving up, because I stumble every day, over everything”. I told him 2 things: 1) One-legged can’t stumble, and 2) There is always a little more toothpaste in the tube. Think about it. He hugged me, smiled, and slept off. Today I am 23; He still, is 8.

I have a kid inside me, everyone has. The one inside me is one-legged. He lost his leg when I was 17, and he was 8. Day before yesterday, after I saw my Verbal score being massacred, totally uncorrelated to my overall score, thereby yielding to an entire new era of guilt and hopelessness, I thought of waking up the Kid. I nudged his head with my elbow, to which he did not respond. So I turned on ‘Sweet Child o’ Mine’ on maximum volume. He got up with a scream, with his left hand twisted around his elbow, his palm of the same hand curled up to the inside, as if holding the Guitar hook, making it look as if he was holding a Guitar, the way Slash did while playing with Duff McKagan and Matt Sorum for a Randy Castillo tribute concert, in 2002. We both went to the Biere Club, grabbed a few Pints, and discussed where do babies come from? He said, “Don't bother asking adults. They lie like whores. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed on a Chick’s t-Shirt, that said "sex is good." All available evidence, however, points to the contrary. So in spite of the pleasures involved in it, and the zero moral dilemma, and the Nietzsche like curiosity surrounding the word, I’d rather recommend you to waste your energy on Beer, and Head banging.” We sat in 335E and came back home. Today I am 23; He still, is 8.

I have a kid inside me, everyone has. The one inside me is one-legged. He lost his leg when I was 17, and he was 8. I took the kid to St. Patrick’s Church, near Brigade Road, on last Christmas Eve. We sang Carols, and hugged random girls. Girls who looked good. And were drunk. And were not with their boyfriends. While returning, with a smile on our faces, hope in mind, Coffee in hand, a pack of Dunhill in pockets, and a thought that we can know everything about happiness, and the world, we saw a board outside the Church that read ‘CHRIST IS THE ANSWER’. Confused, I asked the Kid,” But what is the question”, to which he replied, “When I purchase a food item at the Nilgiris, or MORE, or some other Supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The Indian government requires this, and for a good reason, which is: I have no idea. I don't even know what riboflavin is. Though, I do know I eat a lot of it. For example, I often start the day with a hearty Kellogg's strawberry Flakes, which has, according to the label, a riboflavin rating of 10 percent. I assume this means that 10 percent of the Flakes is riboflavin. Maybe it's the red stuff in the middle. Anyway, I'm hoping riboflavin is a good thing; if it turns out that it's a bad thing, like ‘Riboflavin’ is the Latin word for ‘Cockroach pus’, then I am definitely in trouble. So the question actually is, who can tell me what Riboflavin is, and thence my friend, CHRIST IS THE ANSWER”. We sat in the car, came back home, had a little Red wine, which we had got a day before from 4 Seasons, and sang noels’ from The Sheffield Carols. Today I am 23; He still, is 8.

I have a kid inside me, everyone has. The one inside me is one-legged. He lost his leg when I was 17, and he was 8. Today I am feeling sad, and lonely, and hopeless. It was still only nine o'clock when the kid set off on the last leg of his journey, feeling old and dirty and incapable. You probably know the feeling if you are over eight. The kid never made eye contact. A cat does, but cat’s eyes don’t even look entirely warm-blooded to me, whereas the kid’s eyes looked human except less guarded. He used to look at me as if to say, “What do you want me to do for you? I’ll do anything for you.” Whether the kid would have in fact, done anything for me, is another matter. The kid was at least, always willing. The kid taught me a lot about life, and love. He said “Women love men because chocolate can't mow the lawn. Men love women because they are the loveliest things on God's earth. Some women prefer to love other women. Equally, and without any biasing in place, some men prefer to love other men. There is a word to describe this kind of behavior, Love.” Today I am 23; He is dead.

I am bored and waiting for weed,Ladies and Gentlemen.

2009-09-28T11:21:00.004+05:30

I love people with weird names.But more than that I love their names.I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase,you know,something like 'Ladies and Gentlemen'.That'll be a cool name for a kid."This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen".Then when he gets out of hand I get to go "Ladies and Gentlemen, please!".Even better,"Ladies and Gentlemen,you are such a pain in the ass" or,while he is a kid,"why did you shit in your pants,Ladies and Gentlemen?".Can't wait.By the way,Pepsi has again come up with some sulky advertisement where a bunch of little fucking brats get hold of tens of Pepsi cans at the end of the Ad and laugh in pulses like Marlyn Monroe would have done in a cheap Porno.Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise?Are we missing something?Seriously,everyone in this this poor country has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.

Thanks to some political sense left in this world,Spain got its abortion bill legalized.Now people can 'make love'(Read:Define euphemism) without tension.But there was this news on CNN which showed thousand of women on streets of Madrid and other cities protesting against the legalization.Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place, man?There's such balance in nature.I know I complain a lot but just to reiterate George Carlin,there's another complaint of mine - too much use of this prefix "pre".It's all over the language now — "pre"-this,"pre"-that,place the turkey in a "pre-heated" oven.It's ridiculous.There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in:Heated or unheated!"Pre-heated" is a meaningless fucking term! It's like "pre-recorded" — "This program was pre-recorded." Well,of course it was pre-recorded!When else are you gonna record it,afterwards?That's the whole purpose of recording;to do it beforehand!Otherwise it doesn't really work,does it? "Pre-existing","pre-planning","pre-screening".You know what I tell these people? Pre-suck my genital situation!And they seem to understand what I'm talking about.

Youtube is the biggest invention mankind has ever done.It is bigger than the fucking wheel or the fucking Bulb or the fucking Bra.I was browsing through celebrity interviews and I got hold of a video playlist of celebrities talking about Iraq,Afghanistan and Al-Qaeda.There’s this one celebrity,Rosie O’Donnell,a talk show host,and she said this:“I don’t know anything about Afghanistan,but I know it’s full of terrorists,speaking as a mother.” So what is this "speaking as a mother" then?Is it a euphemism for "well,talking out of my arse"?"Suspending rational thought for a moment"?As a rational human being,Al-Qaeda are a loose association of fundamentalist zealots who could be rounded up with a sustained police investigation.But speaking as a parent, they’re all eight foot tall, they’ve got lasers under their moustaches, a huge eye in their foreheads and the only way to kill them is to nuke every country that hasn’t sent America a Christmas card in the the last 20 years. Speaking as a mother.

I have been observing things from economic point of view for quite sometime now.I wonder why Pepsi ain't sold in square cans.I also wonder why aren't soaps sold in cylindrical shape?But the one stuff which makes me proud of my Eco-Head is ,when you buy a V-neck sweater there's a V of material missing.You know what they do with that?They send it to D&G or Linda Zona or Playboy and they make those fancy panties with those V stuffs.By the way I forgot to mention that I am writing this blog cuz I am bored and waiting for X to get me weed.Yeah,Bingo.I am going to smoke up today.This asshole X promised to get me weed around 3 hours back and is still slogging his ass up some place in this small town.I was reading about weeds,stuff and other shits and I know now that they lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated.Lie!When you're high,you can do everything you normally do just as well – you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort.You see,there is a difference.I used to do weed and stuff.I still do,but I used to,too.Wait,somebody's knocking.I think X has come.See ya'll next time I get bored.Toodles.

define:Inglorious Bastard

2009-08-15T17:21:00.005+05:30

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets a Blowjob, no matter how bad it is."
-Barbara Bush,Former US First Lady(And you thought Barbara didn't have a sense of humor)

On my long, bone shaking journey of life, which has been like a school bus, with three adults squished into a bench seat originally designed for two schoolchildren, my solace has been listening to music and audio books on my i Pod. I have the tracks on random shuffle, so I have no idea which of the 4000 songs or chapters will come on, and I always run a personal contest for the most bizarre combination of audio and visual sensations this throws up. Tied at the tip of the charts is a chapter of 'The History of Womanhood' concerning the 7th century arguments between monks from Iona and the followers of Augustine about the shape of their tonsures, which I have heard a million times while driving through the Cafe7 on GM Road and Groove Armada's 'Shaking That Ass' on an unmade track through Prado's east side showroom in Noida. By the way as I have mentioned 'The history of womanhood' let me tell you something I have inferred from my million listenings of a particular stanza. The whole idea of men creating perfect robot women for their own pleasure,it happens every day.The most beautiful women you see in public,none of them are for real.They're just men perpetuating their perverted stereotypes of women.Just the oldest story in the world.There's a penis on every page of Cosmopolitan magazine if you know where to look.Another inference from some unknown source is that people fail to,in fact they don't want to accept they are dumb fucks.I know some people personally who think they are the greatest philosophers since Adam died and they speak shit like "There's a fine line between genius and insanity". ut ask me,I don't think there's a fine line,I actually think there's a yawning gulf.You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with balloons tied to his ears, he's not going home to invent a rocket, is he?

Anyway one o' my friends recommended I should watch some new crime related TV show.He said it helps keep your Grey cells ticking even when you want them to be still.I was overwhelmed by his suggestion, went home and downloaded the fucking entire series of CSI. And trust me I think CSI: Miami is the worst fucking thing that's ever happened to the planet earth.I think it's worse than the AIDS epidemic of the early 90's.More weirdly I was just surfing around on NY Times when I read this unusual stuff that a few American Asshole brains were thinking of putting microchips inside babies so that if they ever get kidnapped, you can track them on Google.But what if that technology fails? Well here is my solution:next to the microchip, put a fucking detonator.Listen, if I can't have my baby, nobody can.By the way I have a lot of friends.Not exactly friends-friends, but yeah people who I think are kind-of friends.Some of them are just like me.Others, married.Lots of my friends have babies,but I don't have any babies, but I have lots of friends - babies don't have any friends.They all have those baby-monitors so they can hear the baby from the other room, which I consider a form of wire-tapping.One day there's gonna be a really smart baby who makes a fake recording of some fake baby noises, gonna crawl out of the window and go to have Beer. I need one of those baby-monitors for my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.Sometimes I talk to myself fluently in languages I'm unfamiliar with.Just to screw with my subconscious.It's a good thing a lot of people speak foreign languages, otherwise those people would have no-one to talk to.

I remember going to a park near the city hall around the corner near HCL head office,where two dogs were humping that looked very different from each other.One was brown and white and kind of big with long hair and the other was a little tiny black dog.It made me wonder if these fucking dogs have so much of understanding why people can’t be more accepting of each other.So what if I like to go to the park and watch dogs fuck.People should be willing to accept me as an awesome observer.People hate to accept me.More appropriately they fail to accept me.I agree and I hate this fact that I am a very immature guy and add to it,my atheism.Being an atheist is tough.It makes it really hard to be polite, especially after someone next to you sneezes.All right that's something I can't help but being immature at 21?? Come on, at what age will I finally be mature enough to keep a straight face when someone says,"Hi,how ya doin'? My name is Dick." Then there are people who try to fascinate me with new facts.Most of those facts are weird ones,and highly paradoxical.Like they always try to convince me to save the Apes by telling me we are so much like them that we share 99.9% of the same DNA.That’s true, but, we also share 60% of the same DNA as many fruits and vegetables. That worries me.Who is going to save us when those monkeys find out we are almost 60% banana.I don’t really like the idea of being peeled by an orangutan.

I love MySpace,and nowadays Facebook is superclose to taking that favorites title in my list.And all credit for it goes to my brother,he got me on Facebook because I was on MySpace:"No, no, no.You don't want to be on MySpace, you want to be on Facebook!" So I joined both.But I keep muddling them up, so I keep asking people to come on MyFace.The best thing, still more than 300 friends.Most of them weird though.But they ain't the ones to be blamed.People in general are weird.Fucking retards.I saw this on CNN a few days ago.In Florida these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy 11 times 'cause they thought he was holding a grenade.HE WAS EATING A PEAR.How do you fuck that up?Unless he was eating it like "AHHHHHH!" *throws pear* "THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR".

P.S-Even though I am a hardcore Atheist.(I was an agnostic an year and a half back), I say 'God bless you' when someone sneezes.I never say 'bless you'. Do you want to know why? Because I'm not the Lord!I can't do that.I'm just a messenger for the big guns up stairs.And I never say gesundheit, who even says that? GESUNDHEIT! I felt like I'm honoring Hitler or something, Like I'll end up on the History Channel because someone sneezed.

That woman was God.Or,was it Devil?

2009-06-16T14:44:00.003+05:30

I had a very weird dream last night.It was very vague and highly unpolitical and unsocial and immoral and shitfull but yeah it was an awesome weird dream.I saw that I was sniffing coke somewhere in Los Angeles with Shyla Stylez on my left and Jenna Jameson on my right playfully messing with my hair.A minute later Kanye West lands down from his helicopter and shoots me down for stealing his coke.I went to heaven and I see a woman standing with a placard outside.Did you ever think God's a woman?.She says,"Hey, welcome to fuckin' heaven."I'm like,"What did you say?" "Welcome to fuckin' heaven." "I didn't know you could swear." "Fuck, yeah" "Well, I was raised as a child never to swear." "Where does it say in the Bible that you can't fuckin' swear?" "No fucking where!" "All right,now you are getting the hang of it.Oh,yeah,I saw some slutty bitches outside the pearly gates?You wanna tap that?They ain't gettin' in!" "What?" "No, just kidding.You aren't in heaven,you're in hell.HuHaHaHa.You've been punk'd.Booooom."The devil shoots me with a laser gun.

Moral:I am gonna be a Douchebag even after I am dead.

I am America.A compulsive obsession.

2009-06-16T13:44:00.006+05:30

Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter says, "I have lusted after women in my heart." President Reagan says, "I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope."
-TIME Magazine,September of '86

I love lying.I love it even when I don't need to lie.I lie even when I don't want to.It has become some kind of Obsessive-Compulsive-Habit.My mom says lying is bad, but,I am helpless.The world is a small place to live.Smaller to lie.You end up getting caught somehow,someday.But I personally feel that lying makes you sharper,keeps your grey cells stimulated 24x7 and makes sure you are always on your toes.Deceiving is an art and I respect people who seem to have mastered it.One of them is The great Osama Bin Laden.In eight years,we couldn't find Osama bin Laden,but in those years we nailed Martha Stewart and Barry Bonds' ass to the wall.The world's worst terrorist is still dragging his dialysis machine through a Pakistani strip mall,but the doily broad and the slugger prick won't bother us again.He is an awesome fuckup and I respect him for all he did to hold Bush's balls for so many years.US needs to think of something else,something innovative,something unconventional to hold Osama's balls now.Next time a country wants to take USA on,instead of sending bombs,they should try this:send everyone in the country a color television and a satellite dish.And give them the basic package,not HBO — screw those people.And before the war starts,make them all sit down."Okay,we'll go to war with you.You want a piece of us,fine,fine.Before we go,I want you guys to understand us a little better,and so for that you have to sit down and watch ESPN for 12 hours and Discovery-US special edition for next 12 hours.'Cause you watch ESPN for a full day,you're gonna understand America a lot better.'Hi,we're America! We build monster trucks for fun!We developed the top fuel dragster-zero to three hundred thirty miles an hour in under five seconds,cause,pfft,we were bored.Piss us off,heh,and see what we build!And we may feel bad about it later!Ask Japan.But before we feel bad...we're gonna jack you up!And then we're gonna send you FOOD! 'Cause we're America; we're schizophrenic.Don't mess with a nation that needs medication!'"

George bush/Kill that bitch/Teach a man fishing.

2009-06-04T20:01:00.003+05:30

"Give a man a fish,tomorrow he's gonna want another fish.Teach a man to fish, tomorrow,he's standin' next to you on the dock catchin' your fish.Kill the man.Chop him to bits.Tomorrow,you got bait.Don't make a friend.Make him your chum."

- Peeing on Stonehenge

~~~~~~~>TODAY'S LECTURE IS ON TWO MOST CONTROVERSIAL TOPICS IN HUMAN MANKIND<~~~~~~~~

1.George Bush:

George Bush has fucked up so bad,he made it hard for a white man to run for president.People are like "give me a black man,a white woman,a giraffe,a zebra...anything but another white man.That last one fucked up my roof!".Even though Obama might be in,but George Bush is still in charge.And nobody gives less of a fuck than George Bush.You think you don't give a fuck?George Bush doesn't give a fuck either.Nobody gives less of a fuck than George Bush.If you were hanging from a cliff,getting ready to fall to your death--that's right--and Bush was at the top of the cliff,and all you needed was a fuck to save your life,and Bush had a pocket full of fucks...he wouldn't give you one."Hey, Bush,I need a fuck!" "Oh,you know I don't give a fuck.Here's a fuck...psych!"I think Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room.Trust me,Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room,Bush sent that little boy to Michael Jackson's house. Bush killed Laci Peterson.Bush was fucking Paris Hilton in that video.All to get your mind off the war.Bush lied to me,they all lied to me:"We gotta go to Iraq because they're the most dangerous country on Earth.They're the most dangerous regime in the world."If they're so dangerous,how come it only took two weeks to take over the whole fucking country? Shit.Man,you couldn't take over Baltimore in two weeks.Anyway I respect this man.I respect him for fucking up the entire USA without any trace.Also for fucking WTC,a 110 floor,417 metres buliding.You gotta respect someone with so much balls.And Sorry,I forgot the Iraq part,for that as well.

2.Women:

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women.They say that women are too judgmental,where,of course,men are just grateful.I wonder why don't we have people with such mentality in here.Anyway there ain't any point pondering over women.I have spent fucking 21 years of my life to sort out what women want.All in vain,though.And trust me,if I were to write a thesis on 'What Women Want',I wouldn't make it to more than 100 words.A bunch of girls say,"You don't need no man to help you raise no child"…shut the fuck up with the bullshit.Yeah,you could do it without a man,but that doesn't mean it's to be done.Shit,you can drive a car with your feet if you want to,but that doesn't make it a good fucking idea.Also,very importantly,Women hate women.You get any two girlfriends in this room,been girlfriends for twenty five years,you put a man in between them…"fuck that bitch", "fuck that bitch."Guys are not like that.Guys actually think that there are other fish in the sea,and if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend,and when they walk away,this boy goes, "Oh man, she's nice,I gotta get me a girl like that."If a woman introduces her new man to her girlfriend,and they walk away,her girlfriend goes,"I gotta get him, and I will slit that bitch's throat to do it."Every girl in here got a girlfriend they don't trust around their man.Ask any girl what she'd rather be than beautiful,and she'll say more beautiful.Women will be women.No denying the fact.But I really respect women for whatever they are.I respect it when they say they love my blog and also when they call me at their house-warming parties.I also respect some of them for the fact that they do my assignments,especially when I have to watch some new episode of LOST or Boston Legal(They don't know it about though :P)

I WAS.

2009-05-29T16:22:00.003+05:30

X asked him “What is 43x16?” and started counting,”1,2,3..”. ”688” came a spooky reply even before X could say 4.X took a deep breath and said “And 37x34?”.And he counted again,”1,2,3..”.”1258”,it came out again.X just stood there for a minute staring blankly at the boy,as if he was expecting the boy to say something,but the boy was still calculating things in his head.X went home and spent an year with numbers.An year alone with Numbers.Speaking with them,eating with them,and even sleeping with them.An year later he went to the boy and said “Ask me anything”.The boy said “What is 67x23?”.The boy started the count,”1,2..”.”1541”,X replied.X looked at the boy’s mouth ,which was bent in way as if the boy wanted to say Three but couldn't.X smiled.He then said,”I beat you by a second”.The boy said “Ask me something now”.X said,”What is 43x27”.It was X’s time to count and he said,”1,..”.”1161”,he said,in just under 2 seconds, “I beat you by something which will never let you win against me.Are you sad?”.”I was”,X replied and went to sleep.With numbers.

Forest Gump/The train accident/I wish.

2009-05-10T10:28:00.004+05:30

Jenny Curran: Have you ever been with a girl, Forrest?
Forrest Gump: I sit next to them in my Home Economics class all the time.

-Forest Gump.

Had Jenny Curran asked me if I have ever been with a girl,I would have said"What do ya' mean by 'have been with a girl'??Like going out with her?Eating Ice-creams with dirty flavors which I would never have eaten had I not wanted to go out?Going to beaches with different names and see the same sun go down under the ocean?Buying wall painting with setting sun and village girls filling water?Gifting her things I would never have bought had I not wanted a midnight kiss?Finding puppies super-cute?feeding a cat just 'cause it gives you blank hungry stares?Or do ya' mean,been around with loads of girls?As in went to watch movies in groups of 10 guys and 10 girls?having coffee in CCD with them without anything going on in head?or,as in studied with them just before the exams?".Jenny would have called me a Dumbfuck,slapped me and left by then.But its better to sort out the confusion than speaking bullshit.So look,even though I got a slap,I am smarter than Forest Gump,the guy,who had been a football star,and a war hero,and a national celebrity,and a shrimpin' boat captain,and a college graduate.A movie star too.

I was reading an article on The Hindu,in which a guy came under a fast moving train in some district of Kerala.Now Kerala has got the highest literacy rate,and even if it had the lowest literacy rate,how the-how the heck do you get hit by a train!I mean it's not like it'll jump up and attack you at the last minute or something. There's like a railroad there to give you,you know,a HEADS UP SIGN.I tell you,if you ever gonna get hit by a train,do this:Keep your eyes open and take 5 steps forward.Then look at some guy standing at the door of the train and say "Hey boy,look I just saved my ass".Simple,ain't it?.

Anyway my Lab exams are over and for a change,they went awesome.Ok,I know I sound a little retarded and very dumb on my blog but I used to be a nerd once upon a time.And moreover I still can be a nerd,but I don't see any point slogging for hours and burning midnight oil for just a few extra marks.I see these people studying one month before the exams and managing 95 in all subjects.But then I convince myself that I study for 2 days and manage a 75,so if I study for a month I will break all the fucking GPA records(Simple Ratio-Proportion funda),will become a gold medalist in my college,get a scholarship from Illinois and will move onto become the next Bill Gates and then open up some trust for poor guys qround the world,and when I am about to die I will marry some Playboy chick.Don't pity at my jerk-ness.I told you I sound a little retarded on my blog but I am smarter than Forest Gump.Only if everyone understood me,the world would be a better place to live.Awesome place,infact.

Welcome to my world,Bitch.

2009-04-25T17:40:00.003+05:30

"What do we leave behind when we cross each frontier? Each moment seems split in two; melancholy for what was left behind and the excitement of entering a new land"
- Ernesto 'Ché' Guevara

I know only 4 things about the day I was born.First,it was 7th september 1987.Second,I was born inside Room no.17,Extensive Maternal Wards in a hospital on the Guwahati airport,where my parents were supposed to catch a flight from.Third,I was born 18 days pre-maturely.And last,I wasn't supposed to be born so soon.I hate being born 18 days earlier than I was supposed too.My sunsign would have been Libra,if I were born at the time I was supposed too.I would have been more balanced than I am now.My ruling planet would have been Venus,the planet which screws me up most nowadays.And moreover my birthdate would have been 25th september.A date I would have shared with my 6 friends,that includes my first crush Ankita Jaiswal,who is currently pursuing Honours in Economics from some awesome college in London.I would have also shared the date with Chris Owen,Catherine Zeta Jones and Will Smith.My sunsign doped me with many things I hate in me,now.Like,I hate going to places.I find it highly discomforting to get my bum off my chair,pack clothes and doing other formalities.I feel there are many ways of seeing the world.You can hang upside down from a meteor,volunteer to be the fourth stage of a three-stage rocket,or simply get in a balloon and keep going.But if it's sheer,unadulterated discomfort you're looking for,just stay on land.Even more,people I usually encounter in my life are very witty,speak equivocally and very ambiguously.For example,Take Rusty Kohli.This guy is one of my awesomest friends but also one of the jerkiest.He loves talking shit.Pure-awesome shit.Last time I went home,he told me I was like the first breath of spring.Well,he didn't exactly put it that way.He said I looked like the end of a long,hard winter.Now guys like him are "ass"-ets in your life.These guys come in the category of bong-smoking,American accent-bashing,flag-burning,yoga-posing,incense-burning,dolphin-saving,salmon-eating hypocrites.These are the sensitive,liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression,unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.He does drugs,and infact,32% of people I know,do too.I ask them "Tell me,what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful?",they say,"Well, it intensifies your personality."I say,"Yes, but what if you're an asshole?".They don't talk to me for a week after that.But when you have to deal with it,you deal with it.

I hate statistics.Infact,I hate everything that has graphs and bars in it.Even,percentages and ratios.I am not interested in statistics that tell me things are not as bad as they seem.Things are horrible.I have met people crying about what is happening,but there is no solution yet.Everyone is trying to say something but there ain't anyone to listen.I hate statistics,absolutely.God once had Bach and Michelangelo on his side,he had Mozart,and now who does he have?People with ginger whiskers and tinted spectacles who reduce the glories of theology to a kind of sharing,but God is fine with it and expects us to be fine too.

By the way,I have decided that when I grow old,very old I will write a letter to my dad:"I want a young,21 years old chick,Dad.I want somebody to love me. I wanna to be free again.I wanna walk in the backyard on the grass.I wanna put my bare feet in the ocean.I wanna run along the sand and feel it on my feet.I wanna stand up in the shower with the hot water streaming down my legs,in the morning... I wanna explode, Dad.I wanna get out of this fucking body I'm in.I wanna be a man again...I just wanna be a man again.".Anyway I have got a treat today.Weekend-treats are awesome.Especially,if the menu includes Sizzlers and Budweiser.Chalo then Catch ya'll later after my alcoholic-session.Muaaah.

Awesomer/Chacha/Bored/Osho/Kingfisher Guy.

2009-04-21T21:39:00.004+05:30

All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look,I fuck like you wanna fuck,I am smart, capable,and most importantly,I am free in all the ways that you are not.
-Tyler Durden,Fight Club.

Today is an awesome day.Infact,after 4 pints of Budweiser anyday becomes an awesome day.This light,floating and orgasmic feeling should never go from life.I feel as if some really amazing thing is impending.Maybe some chick will call me tonight and say "Oh,you are such an awesome guy,Wanna check out my flat?" or Maybe I'll get a call from someone saying that "You remember Mr.X?You met him last summer in the Kingfisher you were flying.He thought you were awesomer(WTF Word) than Chuck Norris and so Mr.X has left a hug will named after you".But,this ain't me writing all this.It is the Budweiser-soul inside me.And so the reader's discretion is highly advised.

Anyway my day started on a sad note.I bunked my DSP lecture and now I have a fucking-amazing 12 bunks in it.But Chacha(Read:BK Singh-Our lecturer) is a real cool guy with a geezer accent and even sarcastic and mind-fucking tone.But in the end all that matters is that he is a cool guy.And so I can even bunk 12 more classes and he won't fucking mind a bit.But I have learned from thousand of TV Ads and newspaper articles that "Use Protection".So I ain't gonna bunk anymore classes.

I am bored of this place and want some chaste boombazzle to happen here in Manipal.For a hundred years or more this place,our place,has been dying.And not one guy,in these last hundred years or so,has been crazy enough to put a bomb up the asshole of creation and set it off.This place is rotting away,dying piecemeal.But it needs the coup de grace,it needs to be blown to smithereens.Not one of us is intact, and yet we have in us all the continents and the seas between the continents and the birds of the air.We are going to put it down-the evolution of this place which has died but which has not been buried.I think I sound like OSHO when I try to speak some spiritual shit.Oh,OSHO.I so love him.He is one awesome guy too.This is what he said when asked about his celibacy ideas-"Whenever I meet prostitutes,they never speak of sex.They inquire about the soul,and about God.I also meet many ascetics and monks, and whenever we are alone they ask about nothing but sex.I was surprised to learn that ascetics, who are always preaching against sex, seem to be captivated by it.They are curious about it and disturbed by it;they have this mental complex about it, yet they sermonize about religion and about the animal instincts in man.And sex is so natural."Wrong people asking wrong things.Told you guys,he's awesome.He talks about everything.From the 'S' word to the 'L' word.

I think I have blabbered a lot for today.I have to finish watching another season of 24 tonight.So Ciao.By the way I am getting a call from some unknown number right now and I have this real feeling that it's that Kingfisher guy's lawyer. ;)

'I' is a Dumb Fuck.

2009-04-11T01:05:00.003+05:30

"FUCK YOU".Well,fuck you,too.Fuck me,fuck you,fuck this whole city and everyone in it.Fuck the teachers,the preachers,the colleagues and friends.Fuck the jobless.Fuck those with the job.If you don't get a normal job,get a fucking job! Fuck the Talibanis and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs,curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day.Terrorists in fucking training.SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps.Fuck the Scousers sucking up Rafa's cock going down on each other in their parks and on their piers,jingling their dicks on ESPN and Star Sports.Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic."Ten years in the country, still no speaky English?"Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach.Mobster thugs sitting in exotic cafes,sipping tea in little glasses,sugar cubes between their teeth.Wheelin'and dealin' and schemin'.Go back where you fucking came from.Fuck the black-hatted Mr.X who comes in my dreams and tell me I am good for nothing.Fuck the SOB's in Nepal Border selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers.Self-styled masters of the universe Send those Enron ans Satyam And Drexel Burnhams assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that Enron shit?Give me a fucking break! Tyco!Worldcom!Fuck the guys and chicks I have known all my life.20 to a car,swelling up the welfare rolls,worst fuckin' parade in the world.And don't even get me started on the Whom I actually always hated.They made others look good.Fuck the Italians with their pomaded hair,their nylon warm-up suits,their St. Anthony medallions,swinging their,Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger,baseball bats,trying to audition for the Sopranos.Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-Ruppee Balducci artichokes.Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny.You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!Fuck the uptown brothers.They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man on the stands.Slavery ended sixty-fucking-two years ago in country.Move the fuck on!Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence.You betray our trust! And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville,J!Fuck Osama Bin Laden,Al Qaeda,and backward-ass,cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Indian ass! Fuck Aditya Sharma, whining malcontent.Fuck Aditya Rudraksh my best friend,judging me while he stares at someone else's gf's ass. Fuck Diya Agarwal,I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, fucking bitch. Fuck Rusty with his endless grief,standing behind that bar in some cheap Delhi shop sipping on club sodas,selling whisky to friends,cheering Bayern Munich.Fuck this whole world and everyone in it.From the row-houses of Manipal to the penthouses on Park Avenue,from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it let the fires rage,let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.No.No,fuck you,Fuck myself.I am such a poor sadist fucker.I had it all, and I threw it away,me dumb fuck!

Dostoyevski On A Roller-Coaster.

2009-04-11T00:27:00.003+05:30

I would never do crack...I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?
-Denis Leary(Comedy Central,March 2006)

Jenna Jameson(The awesomest Porno-Queen) thinks that 'making eye contact during rough sex is roughly the equivalent of trying to read Dostoyevsky on a rollercoaster.'Now while saying this she didn't describe what kind of rough sex she was referring to.As in,as per her standards or ours?And moreover A normal person like me(I am Normal)can't think of reading Dostoyevski even while bumped on a Bean-Bag.How can she fucking exaggerate the facts by placing the entire scenario on a Roller-Coaster?But I just realized that she is Jenna Jameson.If she can suck it awesomely being upside down,she,for sure has the right to exaggerate.

//The Screw//

2009-04-06T23:38:00.000+05:30

"The ozone hole over the Antarctic may soon set the record as being the world's biggest. This is the first year that the world's biggest hole will not be a head of state."
-Rick Mercer(Unsourced).

Before I catch my pace and stat writing actual shit,let me tell you some very basic cliche's of life.A lot of people say Life is a bitch.To be very frank,it ain't so.In fact,Life is a son of bitch.So lesson one:When you want to put more emotions into something/someone which really sucks,add "Son of a-".You can use this as a prefix over any fucking word(preferably Noun).God made us this way(as in,The way I am)because he knew we are one bunch of goat-fuckers.He knew that we would get horny every 15 minutes and so he added other things on this planet to keep us busy.Like,he gave us TV thinking that we would watch about Global Warming and do things which ain't related to sex.But,we goat-fuckers spend a week fighting over a fucking venue for IPL and another week staring at Chicks from Midnight Hot with one hand over TV remote and the other over our Remote.But god sees it all,and the moment you think you are about to get to the critical phase,either the Power goes off or the FTV broadcast.So lesson number two:God knows it all.And so god manipulates things which he doesn't like.For example,Le Rêve (painting) which is a Picasso painting that purportedly would have sold for a record price had its owner,Steve Wynn,not accidentally poked a hole in it.The fact is,God didn't like the panting and he made Steve Wynn do the poke.So love god and trust god in everything you do.God is the Big Brother.He even watches when the government makes policies to satisfy their sadistic tendencies.And he even watches when couples go to some sad corner of the city to 'attach' themselves.And also,when you are pissing in the bathroom and waiting for the last 3 drops to fall in the pot.But God has a brain which stimulates upon our stupidity,so howmuchever you try,the last 3 drops are gonna leak inside your pants.

When it comes to the government-talk I can't forget mentioning about George Bush.He is also one son-of-a-Bi**h.Some people say the glass is half full.Others say it's half empty.George W Bush says 'It's my glass.Step away from my glass, or I'll break it and cut you with the glass'.George W. Bush... he'll cut ya.Anyway,lets move onto the next lesson which deals with women.I know that girls reading this blog will think I am some sadist fucking guy.But I am the voice of the god.*Chuckles*.I speak what I have learned from life and so let me tell you about "Guess-My-Age" Paradox.I don't need to tell you anything about this paradox,'cause you people are very smart to infer what do I mean by Age+chicks.To be more clear ask a chick her age and you will reach the conclusion.The woman who tells her correct age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.Don't ever ask a woman her age unless you really wanna crush your relationship with her under an elephant's leg.And if you think she's lying,don't give her any form of suggestion or advice.Lesson number three:Don't give a woman an advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening. And yeah,Women love Numbers.Women have a passion for mathematics.They divide their age in half,double the price of their clothes,and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.For all the guys reading this,if you wanna hit on some girl,Hit on a girl/woman atleast 5 years older than you.Experience comes with age.And girls are judged by the experience they have had.Experience off the record.*Chuckles and falls down*.

And now as we have discussed about the most fatal thing,let's move onto something everyone experiences atleast once in his/her life.In layman's language it's called a SCREW.Not this screw,but the screw you get up your ass when you expect something and get something else.After this phase of life people tend to get all Robin Sharma.They start speaking spirituality and philosophy and this is what I call 'Everything's Screwed Up Syndrome' or more comfortably The ESUS.I know it sounds like Jesus but trust me this is the last thing you will want to co-relate with him.There are many factors which lead to this syndrome,for example,more has been screwed up on the battlefield and misunderstood in the Pentagon because of a lack of understanding of the English language than any other single factor.If people begin to realize that ESUS is just another bad phase of life there won't be any trouble in the world.US thinks they are screwed up,so they bomb.Taliban thinks they are screwed,so they bomb again.And this gets onto become a vicious circle.If US and Taliban realize that they both are screwed up,simultaneously,there won't be any bombings.They need to accept that when difficult times come,what we must do is to raise our faces,take a deep breath and say in full words:now we´re screwed.My story as an ESUS guy started as a kid.I was lousy in school.Real screwed up.A moron.I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids.A really bad student.I didn't have any brains.I didn't know what I was doing there.But then I realized and accepted it wholeheartedly that "Ok,today ain't my day.Maybe tomorrow".That's why I became so smart.*Chuckles again*.People need to become like me.Dumb but smart.Ironic but true.Sometimes things work out on the golf course and sometimes they don't.Life will go on.You try to understand what happens, but maybe today you don't want to know.You just screwed up so maybe you should just put it behind yourself.If you can comprehend what I want to say,you won't need to need 100 of self-help books to save you ass out.Screw-Up is a nice thing.It teaches you a lot of things you should do.Moreover,it teaches you a lot more things you shouldn't do.People get real busy in their life and they forget the purpose why God sent them down.Not to hold the Remote or ask women their age or cry like sissies over government policies.God sent us down to fuck and get screwed.None of the two(Read:Fuck and Screw)are meant literal here.Just a whorical metaphor.People buy furniture.They tell themselves,this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa,then for a couple years they're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least they've got their sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes.The rug.Then they're trapped in their lovely nest,and the things they used to own,now they own them.I am a plain guy with little brain and real bad sense of humor but I do what I gotta do.Even if that means getting a li'l screwed.For thousands of years,human beings had screwed up and trashed and crapped on this planet,and now history expected me to clean up after everyone.Not only me,but everyone.I have to wash out and flatten my soup cans. And account for every drop of used motor oil.And I have to foot the bill for nuclear waste and buried gasoline tanks and landfilled toxic sludge dumped a generation before I was born.But as I said I do what I gotta do.So I will clean all the crap,which means cleaning half of people's fucking nut-like brains which holds nothing but images of lying-on-sofa chicks from Naughty America to My best friend's sister.It also means slogging out hours in the library to sustain my ass on this crap-world.It also means spending time with people I don't wanna be with but just because my being with them will make someone happy and fill their shit-brain with things which are in no way shitty,I spend time with assholes.Real big ones.So in a nutshell:The Rules of Life:

* 1.A lot of things can happen
* 2.All of these can kill you
* 3.So Don't panic.

We're designed to be hunters and we're in a society of shopping.There's nothing to kill anymore,there's nothing to fight,nothing to overcome,nothing to explore.In that societal emasculation this everyman is created.Amen.

I see bad things.

2009-04-02T16:56:00.006+05:30

"Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days"
- Kevin Costner as Crash Davis - Bull Durham.

Life teaches everyone everything.You start with the good things first.When you are born you learn to say 'PAPA' and 'MA'.Then one day you learn to walk.You learn the alphabets.Then the numbers.The square.The triangles.The pythagorus theorem.One day you learn V=IxR.The you learn Organic Chemistry.The Biot-Savart Law.Then the better things start:You learn to kiss.To love.To make friends.To have girlfriends.And one day the bad things fix inside your head:To hate.To fake.To fuck.To lie.Detest.Ditch.And by the time you realize it's enough,you are too late to go back to the good lessons.You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.You swear and curse the fate.But when it comes to the end,you have to let it go.But everyone learns something which becomes their identity.Inside each and every one of us is our one,true authentic swing.Something we were born with.Something that's ours and ours alone.Something that can't be learned.Something that's got to be remembered.The one thing you will always love about yourself,no matter how bad you become.The one thing which will make you believe in your soul that whatever you do is right.

I see the worst in people.I see what they don't see in themselves,just like the bad things other see in me,which I don't see in myself.I try to learn again.Learn the good lessons.But I give up.Being good is tough.But being good from being bad is tougher.I hope to get up one morning in my small 1x1 bed,I used to sleep on when I was an year old.I want to start from start.I want to sleep without hate in my head.I want to sleep thinking how Ice-lollies would taste after school the next day.I want to be confused about how children are born.I want to wonder about why do people in 12th standard look so tensed during exams.I want to go back in time.I want to be a character of Star Wars.I want to fly in space,somewhere no one would see bad in me.Somewhere I won't see bad in people.Somewhere I will be again taught squares and rectangles.Somewhere I won't have a lot to think about.Somewhere I won't have a lot to write about.Somewhere.

Vibrators/Giving Head/The Bend/Porn-watching-chicks

2009-04-02T00:14:00.005+05:30

'Why did got create man?Because Vibrators can't mow lawns.'
-MADONNA(In Dangerous Game,1993)

I don't like Madonna in general,but when dumb people speak wisdom I tend to love them.Mind it,I Tend to,I don't actually do.I don't mean to be personal or bad-witted but I think all women are good-Good for nothing.But trust me they know the absolute real shit.They know how to get things done,even when it's actually not possible.People ask me how do women succeed in life by just being optimistic about that thing?They also ask what drives their success?I say the word is BEND.All they need is one bend.One bend in front of their boss,their colleagues or their whatsoever/whosoever.Don't misjudge the power of this Bend.It's not the samurai/Japanese/Zen/Asians Bend.It's called the 'Coup de grace'-Bend.Men are already wounded creatures and all they need to end their sorrows is one look at the forbidden.For example,consider a situation where the boss is working some finance shit on his laptop.The lady employee enters the cabin and says "Sir,I wanted a leave this weekend",followed by a bend in front of the boss.Now at that instant of the bend,the laptop's screen shifts to the forbidden place.The boss stares at the 'screen' for 3 seconds rating the thing as awesome and grants her leave.Now this was a very hypothetical situation but shit like this happens.I swear.

George Carolin thinks women have,on average,higher IQ than men.His source is this.I wonder how do people actually come up with these results.Do they actually monitor chicks watching porn for over 6 months,see the IQ growth and present the abstract for their weird hypothesis or whatever on some low-traffic sites where no one but jobless people like me click and go?Men on the other hand are really kewl 'Nigga-like' creatures.They think with their head'.Look with their head.Say with their head.But if there's one thing they can do anything for,it's a good HEAD.My report-"On average,Men are more stupid than Women."In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.Anyway there is no point wondering about the hows and whys of Men ,and especially Women.

God made us this way because he wanted to put suspense into our lives.Or maybe,he is just monitoring us like the above mentioned researchers(read:Who monitor porn-watching-chicks) to see how we react during adversities.The battle of sexes is everlasting and it will always be about petty things like 1)Why men can read maps better than women 2)Why can't men use the Coup de grace Bend for their success 3)Why do jobless people like me have to slog out hours criticizing women and etc etc.By the way Men can read maps,better than women because only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.Awesomeness simplified.

DISCLAIMER
I am sorry if my post hurts sentiments of either sex.I am also sorry to the so-called weaker sex for telling everyone about the secret of their success(Read:The BEND).Everything in this post has been written just for humor purpose and bear no resemblance to characteristics of any sex,weak or strong.And now,as I have written the Disclaimer,I can't be sued even if I meant every single pie I mentioned.

Screw You.

2009-03-14T15:57:00.004+05:30

Yeah it is for you only bitch.Screw you.Actually,screw you double hard.I ain't ever gonna think about you.Thanks for what ever fucking thing you did to me.Thanks for being such a careless fucking retard.And thanks for wasting 5 precious years of my life.Screw you triple hard.

Your 30 Seconds start now.

2009-03-14T01:46:00.003+05:30

A pack of 20 Milds,a Kingfisher Blue and a Romanov Red for anyone who guesses within next 30 seconds what's fucking up my grey cells.I know it sounds sad but I am really sad.I feel as if someone has compressed me into a zip file and mailed me to some anonymous user 10000 miles away,who, when tries to unzip the file gets the message that the file is corrupted.Ok,so I am corrupted.And it is a very dull but sad conclusion.My life has become a complete chaos.I am just fucking up everything I am putting my hands into.

It was raining when I left the library.Everything was calm until I came to my room.And then like a spring-jack things started getting screwed up.The fan was moving slower than yesterday.The CFL wasn't as bright as it used to be.My class notes were missing.I was feeling sleepy by the time hour hand reached 11.My lighter got empty.I got some sore thing on my chest.I felt everyone hates me.I felt nobody loves me even though everybody pretend otherwise.The air was moist and the stars weren't shiny.Somebody called my name and said"You may have won this battle-but the war is far from over".And then I woke up.It was 19:30 and it was raining.I was all naked lying on my bed.The fan was moving as if it was it's last run.Faster and faster with every circle it did.The CFL shone like it was the only bright thing in the world.There were people who loved me.My class-notes were under my pillow.And I dint feel sleepy until I started writing this post.Things change.All for the good.

I remember that day very clearly.I was very sure I couldn't be wrong.And so I called her up.The phone rang 11 times before it got dead.I put it down and was retiring to the bed when it rang.It rang 11 times this side but I was all numb to get up and receive.I felt as if I was dead.I knew it was she.I was very sure I couldn't be wrong.And so I called her up.And then she picked it up and said "You may have won this battle-but the war is far from over".And it was then that I realized that this life is far from being simple for anyone to make sense out of.And I looked up at the ceiling.The fan was moving as if it was it's last run.The air was moist and the stars weren't shiny.And then I woke up.For one last time.To do one last thing.For one last person I ever loved in my life.Or will ever love again.

Everything is calm once again.There ain't any fan.The stars are dead.The air is damp.The sun is fucking up everyone and everything.A pack of 20 Milds,a Kingfisher Blue and a Romanov Red for anyone who guesses within next 30 seconds what's fucking up my grey cells.

The Twerp

2009-02-25T20:30:00.000+05:30

I wonder how can someone be so twerp?But trust me,she can be,and that too without any extra fucking effort.She is the most imbecile person I have ever encountered in my life and I am pretty sure I am never going to see someone as ignoramus as her.She pretends to be very prudish but I really wonder if she's so chaste.Heights of arsing around man.Jerk.

Who the fuck said I can't get over things?

2009-02-23T22:08:00.000+05:30

Well here I am again with a renewed and reviewed perspective and new priorities.I have got over things which were bugging me for a long time.I am not answerable to anyone now and I don't fucking care who says what about whom.I have realized that people who you want to be good choose the wrong way and become the biggest losers.Pretension is a vice and some people don't seem to realize it.They get this apprehensive feeling all the time and pretend to be happy when they are not and someone they can never be.Anyway there is no point brain-fucking about it as there is no point helping someone who can't help himself/herself.

By the way tomorrow is a big day for me and the red devils.Manchester United has taken an awesome lead over their nearest competitors Liverpool and with this pace and consistency no-one can stop them from a consecutive Premier league title win.Tomorrow is the Inter-Mission day.United is gonna play Inter Milan in less than 24 hours from now in the Champions League and I am expecting some pure kick-ass moments.I have a full day in the college tomorrow and I am hating every day of this 4 year 'Tour'ney in Manipal.I just want Einstein's relativity thing to work here so that time just flies by for me,as in,I sleep today and when I get up I am somewhere far from here.Somehwere where I don't see anyone I know.Where people don't understand what I speak and I can't make sense of a thing they say.

I have got to study for CAT now.Its less than 9 months now for the D-day.Placement scene is already screwed up here.All thanks to the recession.I just hope to make it too IIM somehow.Nice people.High intellectual capital.No manipal.What else can a guy in Manipal ask for.Yeah,the number of chicks there are gonna be less than that in Manipal but look for the optimism,there will be less brain-fucking.No screwed-up saturdays.No once-a-week-breakup-fights.No abusing.No answering to petty questions every moment.No meetings when I won't want to.I just hope this Manipal story comes to a nice end.Someone has said it very truly:"All's well that ends well."

I want to be a Full-stop.Right now.

2009-02-19T23:39:00.000+05:30

My life has become a comma.A short interrupt command.I do things without actually realizing I am doing them.I sense but I don't feel.I am not alone but lonely.I am as good as ever but still bad like always.I miss people but I don't think about them when I should.I procrastinate things,even when I want to do them.I am torpid yet full of zeal.I am almost a full-stop but a comma yet.I like friends but I don't care about them.

There was this guy 'X' who asked me to arrange weed on last saturday,and even though I could have,I didn't.Not that I didn't want to,but I just couldn't.I am insecured about everything.I am hopeless.I have become an atheist.I want to pray but I just can't.There was also this girl 'Y' whom I love a lot but she thinks I don't love her.Then there are 3 other people 'A,B&C' who have been with me when I wanted them to be with me,but I just can't seem to be able to spend time with them.Then there is this professor in my college professor 'F' who is one of the biggest jerks I have ever seen in my life.An Ex-HOD by chance,he just can;t get words out of his mouth.He also makes a buzzing sound at the end of every word ending in 's',like he says "Letzz go and Kick some azz".I almost sleep in his class everyday but he doesn't notice and that bugs me even more.

I just want things to be fine.Once,for always.I want to go far from here.To some island with a bed,BeanBag,an I-pod and my Laptop.I want to watch the sunrise and sunset,both together.I want to see a butterfly.The same butterfly I saw 6 years back when I was playing with my best friends in Viceroy Garden.I want to meet all my good friends,present and previous,5 years from now in the same island.I want to listen to The all-American Rejects.I want to eat superhot Aaloo ka paratha with loads of butter on top of it.I want to see the butter melting and losing its existence.I want to smile when I see it losing.I want to co-relate myself with butter.I know it sounds funny,but the butter is the only thing I can come up with right now.I want to watch 'The Big Bang Theory'.I also want a date with 'Emmanuelle Chirqui'.I want to play.I want everything.I want to wakeup one day and see myself in the list of Forbe's richest people.I want to become big.I want to become more matured.I want to laugh like no-one ever can.No-one ever will.I want to laugh at myself.I want to laugh at everyone.I want to laugh when I am happy.I want to laugh when I am sad.I want to be free.I hate being a Comma.I want to be an Exclamation mark.I want to be a bird.I want to fly.I want to love and be loved.I want people to trust me.I want them to understand me.I want time to stop.I don't want to get tired.I want to stop time and walk to the island.I want to sleep.Sleep like a 6 month child.A 6 month girl preferably.I want to die.Right now.I want to be a full-stop Right now.Peace.

I am Somebody.

2009-02-06T22:41:00.001+05:30

So here I am again.I am more powerful and determined now.Fixed as hell and firm as heaven.I can be happy without actual people.Without actual emotions.Without a laugh.Without a purpose.Without a reason.Without anyone.Without the right moment.Without any shame.Without any fucking retarded thing like the ones I mentioned above.I hate everyone right now.I am pissed 'cause I am missing people who loved me and I couldn't understand 'em.I am pissed 'cause I don't have any reason not to be pissed.I am pissed 'cause I don't actually know what I want in life.I am also pissed 'cause I hate the way I am.Weak and needy.I want to be more mature.Understanding enough to realize the good and the bad.And yeah,even the ugly.Yet,I am powerful.I am stronger than ever.But I am pissed like shit.I am somebody.I am almost nobody.I hate everbody.I am pissed.

I am getting normal

2009-02-06T22:41:00.000+05:30

Yeah,that's true.I am getting powerful now.I am feeling stronger than before.

I rise.

2009-02-06T22:35:00.001+05:30

every morning I rise with the sun
carrying the fire within
every evening I set with it
only to rise up again
the core of my being
is my soul that burns
singing the very air that it breathes
the fire within me will never die

I am Powerless.

2009-02-06T21:39:00.000+05:30

I am powerless yet again.I hate people who refuse to love me.I hate people who instigate me to do things I don't want to do.I hate people who don't commend to my thoughts.I have committed a second mistake in my second life and I regret it more than I regret joining MIT.I am afraid of not being alone but being lonely.I don't have anyone person to share my thoughts with.No one to tell what and how I feel when I get hurt and when I don't get what I want to get.I even have nobody to share my dark secrets with.I am a bad guy and everyone almost has come to realize this by now.I lie,not for the bad,for the good.Good of others.Good of myself.I think I am powerless.Now,more than ever.I want to stand up and walk.Walk like a man with a purpose walks.I had this dirty filthy breakup sometime back and I just can't seem to get over it.I want to be myself again.The jovial,gay-guy who laughed and never cried.I want to flutter like no one ever did.I want to refuse everything that the world throws at me.I want to sing like bruce springsteen and cry like a new-born kid.A female kid preferably.I want to live again.Live like no one ever did.Live like no one ever can.I am powerless.Really powerless.

2009-01-07T13:29:00.000+05:30

I have seen the unseen.I have felt the soul.I have borrowed pain.A lifetime ful of pain.But it's not pain.It's laughing with your friend at a time when you shouldn't.It's the sweat in your palms wanting to know someone you see – and the pit in your stomach when they actually see you.It's being touched by hands,that aren't your own.It's the thrill of an escape that almost wasn't. It's the embarrassment you feel – naked for the first time.It's helping a friend find something they lost.It's a smile,a joke,a song.It's what someone does that they like remembering.It's the thinking of things you may never do,and the doing of things you might never have thought.It's the road ahead,and the road behind.It's the first step,and the last – and everyone in between.Because they all make up for the good life.I have felt the soul.I have borrowed pain.God knows I tried my best to learn the ways of this world.Even had inklings we could be glorious;but after all that's happened,the inkles ain't easy anymore.I mean – what kind of fucking life is this?Fate plays its non-regular card.Instead of true joy,I feel waves.The kind that make you look forward to meeting your girl on a helpless day.When I ask god “why fucking me?”.He replies tersely “Y dnt ya go and fuckin figure ya'self.Aye not ny kiddo.”.Don't be surprised;God does have a Nigga-accent.He does speak like that.And then I ask god in my dream “Why do you fuck people?”.He says “What do you mean by fuck?The 'fucking' fuck?”.I say “No,I meant the 'Screwup' fuck”.He laughed and said “Oh kiddo,Ya scared shit outta me.I was gonna slap Ya.Ya see,People are supposed to fuck.It is our main purpose in life and all those other activities-playing the trumpets,Vacuuming Carpets,eating chocolate mousse-are just ways of passing the time until Ya can fuck again”.And then,I laugh.And then I wake up to do other unimportant things of my life – like Playing trumpets and vacuuming carpets. I wake up everyday into the trance of oxygen and sunlight.And then I smoke up to get the real feeling.The fucking real feeling.People mistakenly call the post-smoke-up feeling as trance.It's the contrary.Ducking for apples;Change a letter and that is my life.I have been fucking,the un-literal fucking,all my life.People need sex for a clear complexion,but I would rather do it for love.It's hard for me to change according to the changing time.I remember,when I was born, air was clean and sex was dirty.Now it's the opposite.Life plays poker.The strip poker.And it keeps defeating you until you are in your flesh.And then it pokes you,where it shouldn't.You ask it to stop.You cry in pain.You cry in vain.Life is deaf.And it is stupid.But it pokes where it shouldn't.The basis of optimism is sheer terror.Conscience makes egotists of us all.And then one day you start loathing life.But you still run after it and life says “You will always be fond of me.I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit”.You scream.You scream “Fuck you”.And then you wake up.You once again wake up to learn the ways of this world.Wake up in the trance of oxygen and sunlight.The real trance.And you know the reason why god has chosen you to fuck.You don't ask again “Why fucking me?”.Everything goes on.But I keep waiting.I don't know why,but I keep waiting.I know how to ease my pain.I know.I wait.

The Glitterati.The smoke.The Newsmakers.

2008-12-29T12:20:00.000+05:30

In my opinion,humble but plausible,2008 was the worst year anyone can ever witness.I went and asked my father about his pressed/oppressed thoughts.He said “You think so because you haven't seen 1948 or 1984”.There was a solemn pause,and then I thought my father must have asked his father at some point of history,otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned the 1948.Here is the point, I don't know a lot about 1948 or 1984 except for the facts that 1948 was marked by Gandhi's death and India's Olympic gold in hockey and 1984 was highlighted by Indira Gandhi's death,Bhopal Gas tragedy and Rakesh Sharma's touchdown in space.But if someone asks me if I were given a chance to live through 1948,1984 or 2008 for one year of my life,which one would I take.I would take any but 2008.That's because seeing is believing. And I have seen deaths,births,tragedies,mockeries,showdowns,pull-ups,Bullcrash,Bearsloth and much more in 2008.And I can watch Ram Gopal Verma's 5 movies 5 times but not this painful year once again,because you have things to alleviate the movie-pain but nothing to palliate the heart-hurt.Here is a compendium of the year,in no particular order or genre:The trendsetters,the zenith,nadirs and everything.A potpourri of a ghost concocting putrid fish in a fine Cognac.

Floods devastated the beginnings/Financial markets crashed/The spectre of job insecurities for millions of confident and dynamics young Indians/The rape of a nun/Bomb blasts ripping across city after city/The indelible images of 26/11 and the horror Kasab and men caused/The black President/Abhinav Bindra's gold/The rumbustious tamasha called IPL/The Inflation/The crush-down of Merill lynch and several other companies/The Sarah Palin-Lookalike Strip contest in Las Vegas/Suicide of Indian investors abroad/The 123 Agreement/The discord between UPA and the Left/The Muntader al Zaidei-George bush-Shoe controversy/The Nano trouble/Nicolas Sarkozy's marriage/Laloo launches his blog,an instant sellout on YouTube/Jardari-Zardari/IPL cheerleaders with flashy panties,who were more of distraction than attraction/The reunion of Jade Goody and Shilpa Shetty on Big Boss 2/Amarnath shrine protest/Gujjars in Rajasthan/The Large Hadron Collider Hungama/Rock-On/Cash show in Parliament/Anti-Bihar campaign in Mumbai/Blasts,Blasts and more blasts/Chaand ke paar,Chandrayan/Aravind Adiga awarded Booker for his 'The White Tiger'/The kingfisher-Jet Tieup/Salman vs. Shahrukh/Did Shreesanth Cry?/Harbhajan's Monkey-MaaKi controversy/Ekta Kapoor vs. Star Plus/Shahrukh's 6p Abs/Aamir's 8p Abs/Shahrukh Khan,awarded with the honorary 'Datuk' title and ranked 41st in list of Newsweek's global elite,ahead of Dalai Lama and Oprah Winfrey but just one behind Osama Bin Laden//

Whose Pride,whose prejudice?

2008-12-29T12:19:00.000+05:30

Lo and Behold,the year best forgotten is dying.Let it die and its ashes be untouched.Let it cry and screech like the wet chalk on blackboard.Let it pose blatantly but ignore it and call 'juvenile'.Hold only a vague and obscure image,like a tree behind the foggy glass.Kiss it a last goodbye, for the prophet asked to love your fears too.Some laughing man said “Sweet are the uses of adversity”.The purveyors of melancholy had a field day.The dying year,our Annus Horribilis, was derisive in every aspect.The petite bourgeoisie cried,in vain.The proletarians sollen,in pain.Let us forget the gone for the best.Think of it as the dead and you don't speak about the dead.Forget the glass half-full,there is simply no glass.Do not conjure a rainbow for the next year,you will be disappointed.It's best to be pessimistic in some cases.You don't feel bad,whatever turns up.

Anyway,dream big.Pray for the dead and the sufferers.For those in pain.Who have seen death.Who have lost their love.Their hope.Their faith.But before you dream,wake up.Dreams are not those that you get while sleeping.Dreams are those that don't let you sleep.Hoping the very best for all of you.Wishing you a Kasab-free year.

I swear I have a surprise.I swear.

2008-12-24T11:52:00.001+05:30

“Babe,close your eyes.I have a surprise for you.”.She was pissed.So was I.But I,unlike her,had a surprise.I swear I had a surprise.I swear I was pissed.Who was she in my dreams?Where was she?Today was light,unsubstantial.Clinging to the edge.Close your eyes and it will fall off.I swear it will.Blink once and that bubble will pop out and die.I swear it will.I cry.Drops swell.My eyes are closed.I blink,and then,Pop.Don't tell me not to fly.I have to.But you are allowed to rain on my parade.Today tastes dangerous.I swear.Don't say Boo when I confess my lie.The sweet lie I love to lie.I swear I do.The crime was juvenile.And so was she.Those curls on her forehead.They said a lot.And meant a lot too.She asked me not to leave.I asked the same.I heard her.She didn't.I swear,she didn't.Tears dropped again.And again,Pop.Everything is grubby.Everything is kaput.I flow unbridled.So does my tear.And it pops.She loves surprises.I swear she does.Everyone does.I swear,again.It is too late to wakeup.To realize the facts.She was not pissed.I just wanted her to be pissed.I swear I did.You can't google the facts.They lie.I swear they do.I loathe everything.I detest everything I loathe.I cry when it rains.I do even when it doesn't.I swear I do.Send me that winter.That icey breeze.Let me hug you for once.Once like no one ever did.Once like no one would ever.I swear,no one would.Ever.Nothing is what I do when she is away.Nothing is what I want when she is here.I swear nothing else I want.Get me that winter.I am not alive to live.Nor to die.I am alive to swear.Swear that I will hug like no one ever would.Get me one thing I want.I will get you more than you want.More than you can ever want.More than you would ever want.I swear.I will.My eyes ache with unshed tears now.Nothing pops.Nothing swells.And why do I mourn.Why do I mourn for the dead.It is not for dead,she said.I swear she did.It is for guilt,she said.I swear she did.Get me one more day.One more day for her.A day I can gift her.A day I can surprise her with.I swear I want to give her a surprise.A surprise for a day.A day for a surprise.Day only we bear witness to.For the things done wrong.For the things not done so well.I sigh.Such a Heartfelt sigh.I mourn again.She chuckles.She hugs.She gives me a day to give back to her.She gives me my winter.Every year I mourn.Every year she gives me my winter.I am transparent.I am gauche.I am sollen.I cry.I cry for her.For one more hug.I wait for the winter.And she gives me winter whenever I want.Like she has given me now.I wait for her.I swear I do.I wait to give her a hug.I swear I do.I wait to give her a day.I swear I do.I have a lot for her.I have a surprise for her.I swear.

Fucking Things To Do.

2008-12-23T15:21:00.001+05:30

I plan to do a lot of fucking things in the 3 weeks left for my holidays to disappear and for the Manipal monster to rise from sleep.I hate going to college.Everyone does as a matter of fact.Ok,errata.Not everyone,but everyone who has no one to hold hands or to hold whatever and walk at 10 in the night.Or who are dead sure that they wont get any one to hold theirs(Read:hands and/or whatever) all their life long.But for people like me who get up everyday from the deadly grip of sleep just to be optimistic for a new day and for the hope of someone to hold ours.I dont mean one person holding for all,but seperates for everyone.So I plan and prepare and get all set for helluva lot of fucking things.Now fucking things is a metaphor.Just a figure of speech..Dont take it literally and put up an impression that I am so desperate that I will start fucking things.I might,I am not very sure,but I wont tell you before I do so.So I plan to:

1.Eat.Exercise.Eat again.I want to put up some weight so that I dont disappear in the ennui of my life.
2.Get all the last year issues of Playboy and FHM from Adi and Pinachu and mentally strip(Evil laugh:Hahahaha) all the models to decide which one has best abs.
3.Be patient.Many people including my Ex have told me that I am very short-tempered and impatient.So I am gonna rent all the Ram gopal Verma's movies from Bigflix and watch them so that my next 5 generations will be born patient.
4.Think of new positions and when I come up with some thing really amazing,put them on Cosmopolitan website's poll of the month.
5.Renew my annual subscription to Manohar kahaaniyan,the weekly Magazine where they tell you real-life stories about bad people.People who seduce and then kill.Huhahahaha.
6.Cancel my Readers digest subscription and keep that money in my drawer to rent RGVerma's upcoming movies(Vaastu Shashtra-2,Bhoot hun main,Sholay-A new perspective).
7.Miss delhi even before I leave for Manipal.I love Delhi.I hate manipal,period.

The Nice-Legged Mommy

2008-12-23T15:19:00.000+05:30

I am disgusting and I should be punished.Last week I had a severe altercation with one of my friends.The topic was shitty as usual.We fought over if 'Damn It' is god's last name 'cuz its common to hear people say 'God damn It'.So I just thought that may be jesus was named with Damnation.Excuse me for my impunity but I cant help being shameless.I was speaking for the motion and he was motioning against.Anyway I just brought out this topic 'cuz I got a bum-screw in the end and everyone else laughed off at me.The way they always do.So I went online to catch up some more KickAss points.I googled 'Damnation','Damn+God','Damn+It+God+debate','KickAss+god' and several other similar-jested words.But all shit-in-vain.It seems my getting screwed up every time is some kind of predilection.Guys love doing it and chicks feel seeing me doleful is the best thing next to orgasm.Is it?Half an hour later with No KA(read:KickAss) points with me,I chucked thinking about debating with that filthy despicable friend.5 minutes of Downloading later,I was going to log out when My Nice-legged Mommy MSN'ed me “Hey Son.Watchup? XD”.Now this KA nice-legged Mommie aint the real mommie.But she is the nicey,facetious,Seducing mommie and she does have nice-legs.Those long ones with curvy ankles and blowey knees.The kind Guys love to fall for.(By the way 'facetious' has all the vowels in order of their alphabetical appearance.There are only 2 other words in english language.Awesome).She will seduce you to death and the moment you start hitting on her she will retort MSN'ically “Haaaw.You pervert son ;)” And that's it.The wink in the end is another of her seducing tactics.The last blow.Like the people of laconia used to blow up their enemies with.Tempting but plausible and speciously pernicious.You write one more thing and you are crossed off.The best reply:wait for 17 seconds and then wink back.

Now this Mommie hates relationships.And she does not want to go out with me.Nothing new though,I know.No one wants to go out with me.Not that I am a bad guy.I am not.For sure.People say I am a bugger.A sweet one.Some think a sexy one too.Anyway chuck and back to Mommie.The nice-legged-one.She loves saying 'Toodles' whenever she is bored of chatting with me.She loves 'XD' too.And she loves Manchester United as much as I do.No I guess a li'l lesser.Or may be not.I don't know.Nevin's psychological laws state that you feel closer to a girl with similar likes and taste as you than a guy.Now there is no sexual psychology,whatever that means,but only psychological predilection.But having a chick who loves Manchester United, in your friends list(Not the orkut one,But real friend list.You understand what I say.Don't you?) is something which exhilarates you as much as ManU winning Premier League does.And If that chick is the Nice-legged mommie it's like the Garlic-mayo-slurp sauce over a plain burger.Don't infer that I am some sexual predator just 'cuz I am using 'Nice legged' in an unbridled manner.Blame my hormones and my condition(Read:Without a girlfriend for so many straight months.)And anyway guys can't help being guys.Dicks have brains too and they are conflicting with our brains.Anyway I was online today and she banged on again.And she asked why don't I blog.Now there are a few reasons for that too but I'll come to it later.So when she asked I was surprised.Surprised for two reasons.One:OMG,there is some one who reads my blog.Two:Why am I not fucking blogging?.So I said “I gTg.TC.Muaaah” and sat down to write this small dedciation to my Nice-legged mommie.

Coming back to the surprise points.Why did I stop blogging.To begin with I blog only when I get an impetus to blog.And that happens when 1)My mom screws me up and I feel morose,and/or,2)I have atleast 25 new words to add to my vocabulary,and/or,3)Somebody actually wants to read the stuff I write.And none of the three points were triggered for a long time, so no blogging.I know I write really uncanny stuffs that hardly can be left from being tagged Balderdash.But I love everything I write and I love everyone who love what I love 'cuz their love is same as my love and trichotomy propounded thousand years ago that if A=B and B=C,then A=C.I know it sounds like Zeroth law of thermodynamics,but I love Mathematics more than Thermodynamics and so I took the number example.And so when somebody talks about my blog which isn't actually a blog,he/she satisfies the 3^rd criteria of Piyush's Algortihm and I start blogging again.By the way the Nice-legged mommie has an amazing brogue.The first time I spoke to her she sounded like a guy.And she infact is more of a guy,just that she has got features that biologically complicates her being biological me.Excuse my french!She loves bands I love.Just that she likes Linkin Park,which I really hate like shit.Sorry Mommie:)

Anyway Now that I have started Blogging again(Thanks to KA Mommie) I just hope that I hold on to my onus carefully.Catchyouall later.Muaahh Mommie.The Nice-legged One.

IF IT IS NOT ANTICLOCKWISE,YOU BETTER GO AND BRUSH.

2008-11-01T18:06:00.001+05:30

I hate E&E(For the wary ones it's Electrical And Electronics),not because there are hardly 10 girls in my branch but because I cant differentiate between a generator and motor just by looking at it.I know its sad for a 3rd year student to not know the basics of electrical but so is the case with my branch mates.I know that even they can't sort out a generator and motor,if asked to,but they don't hate it as much as I do.My dad keeps asking me daily during the 10:30-in-the-night calls that how is college and stuff going and I proclaim myself to be genius in everything that's going in my curriculum.I am just going down on the rope of E&E,but some wise man said 'When you come to the end of a rope,tie a knot and hang on.And that's what I am trying to do for one more year.

I wonder how many of students have made an identity of theirs,after coming to college.As in just for an experiment, type out your name on Google and search.BOOM,what comes out?A void?A void in Google or in your life?That point is worth thinking all your life until you get a Top of the list result in Google search.Just imagine if someone would have asked George Washington of his ID,he would have taken out a dollar note or a quarter and showed.Inspiring but showy.Ain't it?

I think I have got some kind of infection where people just can't concentrate on a particular thing because something keeps itching down the chest.Its not because of cleanliness issues.Its because of some infection as I said.I was watching Heroes 3rd season,6th episode and the directors ended the show at a very critical point,the moment you would have come to know what's gonna happen to Peter Petrelli.But the inference was subdued for one more week,and I caught this infection since then.

Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet.The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.I miss my old school friends and even some whom I just met randomly but could not carry them on along my life.But whenever I used to cry or sit and ponder over such muddly insane issues,my Dad used to say "Don't worry about the people in the past,there's always a reason why they are not with you in the future".I never comprehended what he meant until the day I saw the 6th episode and caught the infection.Since then I have been thinking about the reasons of In-past-Not-in-Future phenomenon only.

By the way I have already bunked 3 Lab experiments and lost out on 15 marks,if I dont go right now and put up my lazy bum on the chair with that Pink Lab journal in front of me,I will flunk and I will have to hang a little longer on the Rope of my branch,which I dont want to do anymore.So I better get going.Catch you people soon.Adios.

I DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING.AND YEAH,I AM SAD.

2008-10-27T13:26:00.000+05:30

I am feeling very sad today.I am missing my home.I want Barrack Obama to win US elections this time.I hate Sarah palin even more now.McCain is an asshole(personal opinion).I have my Lab Exams on 3rd and I don't know shit in it.I don't know shit in and about anything infact.I am going to watch Pineapple Express.I love Seth Rogen and can't wait to watch his coming movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno.Anyway happy Diwali to all of you.While the entire nation is celebrating Diwali on 28th,We at MIT,manipal have been given this privilege*Grrrs* to celebrate it a day earlier.Someone said it very correctly 'The world is advancing at an amazing pace'.India in particular.And Manipal specifically.May goddess lakhsmi shower all her blessings on you and cash on me.Adios.

Much sensed that alien.

2008-10-17T18:47:00.000+05:30

Courtesy:flyfools.com

THAT WAS THE FUCKING WEEK THAT WAS-23.

2008-10-12T19:42:00.000+05:30

I have a crush on Blake Lively.Techtatva was fun and right now I am listening to 'Elevation'.I was organising two events and was given some deadlines before which I was supposed to finish off my job.But I am a Born-Asshole and love to create tension,Hyper-tension in fact,before people actually clap and breathe relief.I love deadlines and love the whooshing sound they make when they fly by your side.I cheated in one o' the events and helped another team grab 6 Grands in another.After someone said very correctly that 'He was a wise man who invented beer' I went to DT and had 6 pints on Saturday.I often get this weird feeling somewhere in my innards that all the people around me are boring and living a monotonous life doing things they ought to do and accepting things in the same order it comes in their life.And when this absurd thought crosses my mind,I drink.I drink to make other people interesting.To fake that I am happy and merry-making like Dionysus and also to sleep like a pig.And I also read somewhere that 'Ate'(ατή in greek) was the goddess of foolishness but have never heard of some foolishness-god as such,and so sometimes I feel that you know maybe I am the male version (ahem ahem *blushes*)people will add up my name in amazing and weird deities once I am dead.

I know people around me and even far-off but who know me, think I am some awesome asshole who has had an experience of all the funny and weird things that happen in everyday and not-so-everyday life but they don't realize that everything is funny only as long as it is happening to somebody else.If they forget to lock down the loo's door and are caught shitting like a dog they wont think its funny,but it will be me then who will laugh his ass off.Bud sadly things don't always turn up they way one wants them to be.Even though i have turned on my Spam filter on Yahoo,I got a mail from Jenny Crawford,who is neither the sister of Cindy Crawford nor the wife of Chase Crawford(He's single and having all the fun in Gossip Girl XOXO,making out with Blake Lively and Leighton) that 4 chicks are available near manipal who will come and f**k me if I just register on her website,and that too surprisingly free of cost.And she said that all the 4 chicks will be shipped(confused?) to me within a week.And she told me that I will get to have fun on every Saturday for 5 weeks with some new chick every time, if i gave her the E-mail address of 10 people who I think will love to register on her website and get F****d by 4 new chicks.And there was another pleasant surprise that if more than 4 of the people I have given reference of,give E-mail address of 10 other people then I will get 4 more chicks from Bangalore(And ahem,they had partitioned Bangalore as Bang-Galore :P).I gave it 5 thoughts before finally deleting that mail and adding Crawford in my Spam list.

Anyway I am bored of my life and want to have some fun.Not the fun you will normally think, as in some Beer fest or Jackass movie, i.e. one chick on the left-one on the right-making you sip Chilled-Gin-sweet-Pin tonic, but some awesome fun to make this shit-like-life a little tastier.Life is gruelling and screws almost everyone before he/she dies.So last night I was thinking all the philosophical things one can think of at my level and I came up with a weird but happy-all thought.I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm.

WHEN I TOOK MY GRE,A TO Z FOLLOWED THUS.

2008-10-03T00:16:00.000+05:30

All amidst that arenaceous atrabilious atmosphere, alalia bounced upon my bouncy breath.Boredom benigns boondoggle balderdash and brimborion-ly bromopnea baddens the breath again.Caitiff that i am,Clinquant is what i contempt.Cancrines is that i love,Circumbendibus is what i hate.Discombobulate that I am now.Druggishness is nothing i drool for.Didegeridoo that i play diligently,like a dandiprat going deasil.Edacious is not everytime edifying.In eyot that esurient ensorcelled elv spoke etaoin shrdlu.Fanfaronading flourished,farbs followed,flabbergasted i wrote florilegium.Frigorific i was feeling,but the french fumed and fustigated me.Gobbledygook grawlix i grew in the golden guts of gothicism.Gurning started ,Gantloped i was,they grozed me like some golden glass.Haggard i was looking,handfasted they,with me.Haunted that i was by their horrific horns,Higgledy-Piggledy they honeyfuggled me.Hyperborean they were,later had i known,Handsel monday was the day when hats were headed-off.Ignivomous i became then.The I was no more me.Ingrained was I in that inglenook inn.Jacitated i jotted down the jumblings and saw the jackalope.jobbernowl they thought I the Janus-faced was,but Jocund i really was.Kelemenopical was the kite moving.Kerfuffled was the kakistocratic klan.Lackadaisicaly i loved the lagniappe i got by lollygoging.Mesmerised they were,Metemptosis was what they always practised.Mortsafed will be my mundungus morgue by the time maundy comes,they promised,Malapert i felt.Namby-pamby i was not.Ninnyhammer was neither me.Nincompoop was never what i wanted to be.Nothing was a Nihilartikel in my dictionary.Nemesis that i will be.Oche they made and opened the orchard.Omnium-gatherum was on the other orchard shelf.Orotund they thought i spake,Oh origins! owe them to me.Patibulary was proclaimed in the pub.People they came to pee on me.Pilcrow i put on the poem of persians.The poppycock Pilgarlic they said had a preposterously petard.Thus the Quidnunc started,Quincunx was i moved to where they started the Quodlibet showing me the queen's quillon.Rambunctious then i became,rebarbative was berbatov,Rodomontadely everyone rummed there,Rigmarole was to ruin all o' the romans,a Rhopalic then i wrote.They got a soda and sabraged,Scachhic was the surmounted atmosphere.Simoleon was all i had,squabash i slothered all.Still was the turmoil.Thundering no more was the thunder.tatterdemalion was the therianthrope.Thelemic, the time was turned down.Truckle i tasted.Turlough i tripped into,twitterpated that i was.Ultimately came the Ultiomo,Umami i ate.Umquhile they wanted uranium untill the usurfructuary saw the unobtanium.Vaccary was i vultured into.Valetudinarianly i volitated.Vilipend was nomore the virgin now.Wassail started finally,Welkin's door were wrought open.The wiseacre was wittoled now,the Will-o'-the-wisp was wished.Xenoglossy they found i knew.Yaffled they themsleves,and Yawned for the festival yclept yuletide.Zany i zebraed through the zungles of the z's and before i could have reached the end of Zig-Zaggy zone i unknowingly ZZZ'd.

BANNED-UNBANNED

2008-10-02T13:08:00.000+05:30

Ok i am bored again and the government has even banned smoking publicly.So i guess there wont be any more 10:30 smoke break for us guys 'cause there won't be people smoking around sheelas/As in,ofcourse there would be people who would be desperate to just pay 5 bucks,get a milds and smoke-out there frustration of 2 hours but there won't be any place to do that.Alas!thats against what our Mr.Ambedkar proposed some 57-58 years ago.I wish he were here to kick some ass..Anyway have a read here,specially the 3rd point 'Equality of opportunity in matters of public employment.'Now doesn't that mean that everyone is equal when it comes to public employment shit 'n all?Now if they ban up smoking,that is a clear discrimination against the poor workers burning/smoking their asses for hours in sum cigarette factory.

All guys in my hostel think and treat my room as some kind of public place.They sit here for hours,cracking jokes which only they can infer as if they are in some cryptography competition and that is all an excuse to just smoke.They hate the smell of cigarette in their rooms and so come over to my 'Public-place-kind-of-room'.Now i wonder if i am supposed to smoke in my room or not.What if i M smoking peacefully in my room at like 12:30 in the night,watching heroes season3,episode3 and some copguys come bang open my door and fix me in jail?Shit headed I'll look like the guy in the pic above, just that i wont be holding that magic stick in my hand.
Smoke helps everyone everytime.When ManU wins,u smoke to celbrate.When ManU loses,you smoke to Console.Then there is party-smoke,mourning-smoke,pre-sessionals-smoke,post-sessionals-smoke,shit-smoke(which you smoke while shitting in the morning,that usually makes up for the first smoke of the day)/Oh fuck i forgot even toilet is a public place in hostels unless you have managed a 9.5 CGPA and secured an attached lavtory room./

I wait to wonder and wonder to wait for this ban to be lifted soon.I hate people who hate smoking and i am sure tens of 1000 of manipal guys and other guys as well agree with me on this.And yeah there is a break-up smoke too,which goes on well with the breakup-smoke-song.

No smoke without you, my fire.
After you left,
your cigarette glowed on in my ashtray
and sent up a long thread of such quiet grey
I smiled to wonder who would believe its signal
of so much love. One cigarette
in the non-smoker's tray.
As the last spire
trembles up, a sudden draught
blows it winding into my face.
Is it smell, is it taste?
You are here again, and I am drunk on your tobacco lips.
Out with the light.
Let the smoke lie back in the dark.
Till I hear the very ash
sigh down among the flowers of brass
I'll breathe, and long past midnight, your last kiss.

WADDUP BENGALI BABU?

2008-10-02T13:04:00.000+05:30

From IBN Live:

Sourav Ganguly will be a part of the team for the first two Tests Australia series but there is a rider. He will have to quit from Test cricket after the tour.

According to sources, the following conversation motivated this bold move:
Yashpal: Main samajhta hoon ki woh off stump ke baahar badhiya drive karte hain.
Srikanth: Whatdoyousay, we'll retire him after two tests?
Hirwani: *snicker*
Yashpal: Woh bahut acche all rounder hain.
Srikanth: Whatdoyousay, we'll let the media's sources know?
Hirwani: *chuckle*
Yashpal: Main samajtha hoon yeh pull aur hook shot se badhiyar drive hai.
Srikanth: Ok, I will communicate it to whatdoyousay, the media...
Hirwani: *giggle*
Yashpal: Main samajtha hoon.
Hirwani: Now, Mr Ganguly, the tables are turned. Muhahahahahahaha.

For those who don't know why Hirwani was so happy in the selector's meet above, he had publicly criticised Ganguly in the press for not selecting him in the Indian team. Now he is in a position to decide whether the ex-captain should be in the team at all. Ah, poetic (in)justice.

Courtesy. click

~>LOL<~

2008-10-02T12:53:00.000+05:30

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One more shot i took...

2008-10-01T00:27:00.000+05:30

"Awsum aswum" bolstered I at Brian's beatific beautiful composition,charming and conscientiously who depicted his deliberated dream.Enthusiastically yet enigmatically i flustered over finely gutted gold gasped words.Hurriedly and hastily but impurterbably I look lackadaisically muzzling numbly onto that pulchritudinous poem.Queerly i questioned my roguishness rapport, rapturing my soul,shattering the symmetricity of symmetric.Turmoiling the thundering trumpets,tranquillizing the tragic torments,unlike the unlikely,very vague like the voluptuous virgin,wanton as weed as if Xenops rose xericly.Xerophytic it was so yawned a dead yolk-like yelling zebra...nd then zoomed away me zzzzz too.

So there was this guy..

2008-09-29T22:07:00.000+05:30

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go. Oh the places you'll go....I like nonsense - it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope... and that enables you to laugh at all of life's realities.
Anyway chuck this shit apart,lemme tell u the story of a stud,who wasn't really a stud in the stud way but still he was a stud.His name was 'xD'.He was born in guwahati airport inside an indian airlines waiting room,and the airline's board of management sponsored him a lifelong free-travel card,which he has still kept laminated with him inside his 'box-of-secrets'.
He always came in top 3 in his class till he was in 11th and never came in top 20 after 11th.He loves 3doors down.He loves Shashi Tharoor.He loves Emannuelle Chirqui.His top item in his bucket list is to watch ManU Vs. Arsenal in Old Trafford 5 years from now.He hates Dimitar berbatov.He hates Sarah Palin.He also hates How I Met Your Mother.
He has asked out 7 chicks till date,6 actually went out with him(One left the school before replying back).He knows multiplication table till 37.His mom and dad had a love marriage 3 weeks after they passed out from IIT in 1987.Dad from IIT-Kanpur and mom from Roorkee.He studies in MIT,manipal and hates motors and generators.He wants to do MBA from IIM-Bangalore.He knows he stands no chance for Ahmedabad.He loves the word 'psephology'.
Currently he has a very complicated relationship status as he has managed in his facebook account.He also hates orkut.He loves delhi but he hates blasts.He also hates Indian Mujahideen and Manmohan Singh.He likes Rahul gandhi but still wonders how did a famous survey agency named him the most eligible bachelor in the world.
He sucks at electrical concepts.Cant even differentiate between a motor and genrator,which by the way hardly anyone in his current batch can do.He hates the faculty at MIT but loves the chicks.He currently had a drunk-crush on Ahana,a first year chick,and it was/is the longest crush he has ever had.He loves singing.She loves singing too.He wants to go back home soon.He wants to play guitar all night long sitting over the main building of his college humming Kryptonite over and over again and again.
He even has a blog but he hardly ever updates it.He loves typing but loves writing.He loves writing abstractly abstract articles,especially ones that contain amazing and weird words.He is tired of typing right now.He is prepared to die, but there is no cause for which he is prepared to kill.He loves saying stupid things and better if they are really stupid like "Bitch please, I'm amazing and you are?" "I will piss on your grave." "stop being a dick hole." "can you shut the fuck up for like 2.5 seconds?".
Chris rock and he once said together that "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.".
He can't towel-dry his hair, because it'll tangle. So he puts a towel on the bed and smack his head on the bed, like, ten times, so all the water will drain out.He knows he is a jerkass but he cant help it,so he will keep writing and saying like peter pan : "So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!"

The End Is Not Near,Yet.

2008-09-28T13:39:00.000+05:30

"Blast ho gaya. Tu.. (There has been a blast. You..)", Yusuf, 26, remembers his brother saying on the phone, before the line went silent.Shoaib, who owns a phone shop with his brother, Yusuf, on the other side of the city, was walking down a street in the sprawling market with a friend when the force of the explosion knocked him out.
I love Delhi and i hate bombs.I love the smell of the crackers but I hate Diwali.I love everyone except those who love bombs.And i hate Indian Mujahideen,whatsoever fuck that be.Their war for their 'kaum' or what they call as jehad mentioned and used to mean "striving in the way of allah(al-jihad fi sabil allah) has done more damage to the entire world than help their kaum.The image of the muslim dominated countries has just tarnished because of a few of those bloated fungi.
The world is nowhere near its end.It still has a long way to go.These people fighting their Holy-war think the begining of the end has started and they claim their deeds for what they think has started,but as it is said "He who thinks himself wise, O heavens! is a great fool”,these people make no exception.It is the end of the beginning which has resulted due to this havoc.The end of the beginning of the peace,the peace which had roped in the world,silently yet so grippingly,like a mother holding on to its sick child.The end of the begining of industrialization and prosperity and happiness and joy and integrity.Yet again brothers are fighting,blood spilling,mercyless killing,jihad,bombs,delhi,redalerts,government,condolences,aids,kins,crying families...Everything seems so disturbed,but yet the world is nowhere its end.It still has a long way to go.

THE MESSTHE CHIPMUNKS BARRING METHE DRUMMY DRUMSTHE DOORWAY TO THE DRUMS*

2008-09-25T01:06:00.000+05:30

WHO GOT WHAT?

2008-09-19T23:21:00.002+05:30

If a pimpernickle costs a pickle,and picklenickle asks chicklepickle,"oh,chicklepickle, may i have a,nickle?","yes, but," says chicklepickle,"you have to give me a pimpernickle.",Then out of the bush came plipperplipple,,and said, "give me a pickle, i'll give you a pimpernickle," So therefore my freinds,plipperplipple gets a pickle,and chicklepickle gets a pimpernickle,,and picklenickle gets ,nothingickle.

THE BULLSHIT FAG.

2008-09-19T23:21:00.001+05:30

My secret life,is truly secret,no one knows,because no one cares,its in the open,in blaten view
but no one pays attention,what I do when I walk away,the things that I say,are hidden down inside,never to resurface never ever,the lies, the pain, the tears,all hidden in my soul,to deep to see,too hated to understand,thats why I dont tell,I keep it to myself,they can all go to Hell!
I really cant bring myself to care,when they dont, it just can happen,it cannot, or will it ever
so many secrets, so many lies,I am forced to keep,buried inside, never to be seen,or heard, so I keep it to myself,with no one to listen, no one to care,I give up,Im done,if you dont care then neither do I,I might as well die,slit my wrist,Im through,shoot myself,its over,hang myself im dead
thanks to you, I knew not what to do,you didnt listen, you didnt care,now Im gone,and your still wrong.period.

I KNEW SHE WAS A BITCH.

2008-09-19T23:21:00.000+05:30

Her hot heavy heart hammered heartily,crying "you mustn't be apart from me!",her pounding pulse pattered painfully,as her would be lover escaped up a tree,the bitter brown bark barely brushed,her bouncing bosoms almost touched,her crimson crinolines were crushed,blubbering blindly she blushed,"ooo, stalwart stan of steward's study,if i climb this tree i shall be bloody
i implore thee come and be my buddy,i promise i won't tell anybody!",stan stared steadily down at rose,a suitable denial he tried to compose,his thoughts went astray for that was when rose chose,to shake the tree, thus stan bumped his nose,he bumped his arse and then his head,his scrapes and scratches scrupulously bled,stan feared when he landed he would be dead,far preferrable death to rose instead,gladly she gloated, "galvanized gallant,when will you come to appreciate my talent?,darling dare doer, deliver some dalliance!",then she bared her bosoms and he was caught in the balance,of two trusting tree limbs of tregwellan's trees
a few large leaves bristling in the breeze,not daring to breathe, stan clutched his knees
endangered he endeavored to remain where he please,wistfully he wondered unwisely just when,a pleasing plump plan would plop into his ken,he was horrified at the hideous hovering hen,ol' roving round rosie, a goose not a wren,,unthankfully her thin thistle lips then thundered
"steamy stanley my stud, for you i have hungered,welcome wooer would you wed me i've wondered?,savage stan, i am your saddle, i would be sundered!",just then to stan's joy he heard jostling and jumping,the bashes of berries bushes and bumping,and entered sir henry tregwellan harrumphing,"you dastardly devil i see you need dumping!,,,"you've accosted my acorn, my cutie, my rose,this dirty dank deed right under my nose,dropping dreadfully from trees i drearily suppose,hop down here you hood, so i can run thru your hose!",he then turned to rose with a satisfied sound,"magnificent mooseling with the marvelous mounds
i crave you like candy and i'll see you crowned!,Pray be my prize pretty pansy of pounds!",
she turned to tregwellan her white bosoms heaving,"i'm sorry grave gristle, i must leave you grieving,its stupendous stan for whom i'm achieving,his trembling true trust that i am retrieving!","eek!" cried stan, "you disasterous doxie!,ye mugful of mutton, ye ferocious foxy!
yer plithering and plathering has given me the poxy,quit flinging my tree you flamboyunt flopsie!","technically it is my tree!" trumpeted tregwellan,"and you're hampering my having this hellacious hellion!,scat, you scamper, she's my little scallion,begone beggar or your butts a medallion!",to rose, "you stir, astonish, astound!,ye great bunch of grapes i worship the ground,ye tred tramp or trod on, dont make stan come down!,come let us hide in the heather or i'll loose the hounds!","o treggie, my trout, you are no longer eschewed,,this brazen young brat my poor feelings are bruised,he's an unchivalrous cur whose charms are chewed
he deserves to be tarred, feathered, and glued!,"this bothersome beast beguiled me beneath him,whilst i wondered woefully to his wicked whim,his syrupy salutations sounded of sin
why who knows his plan if you hadnt strolled in?,"he's a low lazy lout, a lascivious looter
he's a cad, a cock, why a cabbage is cuter!,nefarious nerd, i fear he is neuter
while you horny henry are a saliva worth suitor!",henry reached for her rump, crying, "rose it is risky,but your fresh fragrant frock has mae me feel frisky,let us merrily mingle till we're no longer itchy,and then we will dine on turnips and whiskey!",stan stared scaared as they scurried away,thinking "thanks tregwellan, you saved the day!",but prizing his freedom stan was forced to pray,that the plush pastry rose, never came out to play!

6-cored.

2008-09-19T00:21:00.007+05:30

fuckin 6-cored.

I DO SUCK.PERIOD.

2008-09-19T00:21:00.006+05:30

All the time akele akele alliteration appears awkwardly,Blunderingly, blusteringly , bewilderingly and boriyat ke wajah se, I Could calmly call it queer,Despite desperate designs of Enigmatically enthusiastic piyush's lyk me,Fumbling in a funny fashion Ghastly and goofily, to include it in their scraps.However, happy help happens here, at hand,I - of course - indicate I'm here, I Jestingly and jovially josh se jump in,jubilating; --Kingly mastership have I, of Limericks: leaning lightly ever so slightly, on the door scrap,Mustering my to-b-muse, mightily moving imaginary mountains,Never needing anything more than my never endin love..Originally fine love was destroyed, ostentatiously,Pitifully, by pilfering people who perverted speech.Quite a shame Queen's English is no longer spake.Right or wrong, i wring my hands,Saying sulkily to tht 's':The language hath taken time to fall,Under stressed is the reason for it all.Verily, the reason for vastly poor alliteration,Would un-wonderingly be what i would call will X has marked the spot:
Yet - now i yawn, tired, yearning for this to finish, and:
Zzzzz

BEING WHAT?

2008-09-19T00:21:00.004+05:30

Being an individual means you are different then everyone else. But everyone is different. So if everyone is different doesn't that mean they are all the same. But then being the same means you r different. So being different makes you the same, and being the same makes you different. But now you r different which makes you the same, but being the same makes you different...and thts y a guy like me who is the same as others ,who r different yet same,scraps u one more tym to tell u tht for others u may b different but for me u will alwyz b the same,the different..!!

2008-09-19T00:21:00.003+05:30

IS IT A-TO-Z?

2008-09-19T00:21:00.002+05:30

All alone akwardly awaiting an apt age,am alive,all alive;alone,but yeah alive.Blithe,buoyant but no better than before.Botched and bluffed but bumbling like a whore.Crying cowardly coaxing crowd to cry.Am denigrated,doomed,detested and dry.Eclectic,ecstatic,enigmatic i elocute.Fragile and florifeorus i fly on the flute.Glory is gloomed,the guileless is gripped.Honky as hitler,i am here,horny but harelipped.Lies are the laws,thus lied lewis and larry.Merged with the mist, man made out to marry.Now i know now is not the now to know the now.oh,oh,oh and oh orgasmic as it was,i was irksome somehow.'piyush is my name',politely,phonetically and painstakingly i proclaimed.Raunchy like a rat,rapidly the rusty rust was reclaimed.Sad and sorry,she sang the sordid song,thundering went the terminator,terminating the telephone that never went ting,tong.Ulysses is ubiquitous,uniformly uniting the mass.Verily,i verified:veni,vidi,vici was truly what it was.Willingly,worshipping the whore,whose world was at war,yawning,now zzzzz...

WHT HAPPENED AT A MINUTE TILL TWO?

2008-09-19T00:21:00.001+05:30

What did i do to screw myself today at a minute or two till two? A thing distinctly hard to say and harder still to do. At a minute or two till twenty till two a rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-ta-tat-tat-ta-to and the dragon will come when he hears the drum at a minute or two till two today at a minute or two till two.

2008-09-19T00:21:00.000+05:30

I am who I am, so whom am I one may ask? I am a man, man that I am, so who is this man? This man is me, tis' me, this man, the man behind the mask. What is behind the mask? Simple, the man, this man that lays behind the mask is, though in body still a man. A mind, his mind, seems to be something that is just somewhat more. What is more? What does that mean? Well let me explain...By saying my mind is somewhat more, I, the man behind this mask am opening a arrary of possibilities to those whom not look past the physical aspects of what we are, whether a man, or a lady, that of which you are. You are whom you are and like me you are you. So therefore, to think in the way one is thinking, the man, this man, the way I am thinking is clearing the mind, his mind, my mind of all proper sense. To speak, to talk, to explain, like this, It is quite clever is it not? I thought so, I think so, I still believe so...So in fact, you can see, you should see, you would see, why one's mind is opening, is opened up, is cleared of all un-openedness.

WHY DID I DO IT?

2008-08-15T13:52:00.000+05:30

I am not someone with a knack of english or a krackajack.I am just a hobbledehoy and barely managed with some gibberish whenever I tried to confute myself that I can write. But no sooner that I used to start,I ended up with a four-and-a-half page balderdash.I am good for nothing and there is nothing which I really find good.But I love METALLICA and IRON MAIDEN as much as I love fucking.I know it is my impudicity to use profanity in my first post but I do love fucking and that is the only thing I am confident I like and so found it worth comparing with the two rock giants.I have also read in 'HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE' that it is not wise to use 'I' so many times when in a conversation but I dont really like Dale Carnegie and so I dont feel any necessity to do what he asks me to do.

I am a third year engineering student studying in MIT manipal which is a reputed college of karnataka and boasts of having an impressive male:female ratio of around 4:5 and where people would rather die for led zeppelin and manchester united than for their country.Ah,and I love manchester united too and loved the way they played in UEFA 2008 finals.

So the golden question people throw at me is why the fuck did I start blogging when I had still a year left in college coping up with the toughest branch and had to prepare for my MBA which I had aspired to and mentioned in every form I filled up since 11th.I m here,blogging, because mists of ennui have fogged my life and I am getting bugged with evertything that's happening around me.I have an urge in my innards that I am born to write and so i am here.

This blog is a description of the evil side of the blogger,thats me, and describes the circumstances under which he leaked the papers of a premier coaching institute of the country,got suspended for stealing the attendance register of his teacher,fucked a buxom batchmate all night long barely managing to reach for the digital electronics end-sememster paper(still managing an A in that subject) and dared to write this bloggy compendium of his life which has every detail true to very best of his knowledge even though he is barely managing to get over this engineering degree.

And yeah,about the absurd headline of this blog,I read 'THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI' 4 days after it was in delhi crosswords and i thought giving a catchy,creepy and cockeyed headline gives a boost to your publicity.

P.S-I AM NOT HERE TO GAIN FAME.