So there was this guy..

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go. Oh the places you'll go....I like nonsense - it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope... and that enables you to laugh at all of life's realities.
Anyway chuck this shit apart,lemme tell u the story of a stud,who wasn't really a stud in the stud way but still he was a stud.His name was 'xD'.He was born in guwahati airport inside an indian airlines waiting room,and the airline's board of management sponsored him a lifelong free-travel card,which he has still kept laminated with him inside his 'box-of-secrets'.
He always came in top 3 in his class till he was in 11th and never came in top 20 after 11th.He loves 3doors down.He loves Shashi Tharoor.He loves Emannuelle Chirqui.His top item in his bucket list is to watch ManU Vs. Arsenal in Old Trafford 5 years from now.He hates Dimitar berbatov.He hates Sarah Palin.He also hates How I Met Your Mother.
He has asked out 7 chicks till date,6 actually went out with him(One left the school before replying back).He knows multiplication table till 37.His mom and dad had a love marriage 3 weeks after they passed out from IIT in 1987.Dad from IIT-Kanpur and mom from Roorkee.He studies in MIT,manipal and hates motors and generators.He wants to do MBA from IIM-Bangalore.He knows he stands no chance for Ahmedabad.He loves the word 'psephology'.
Currently he has a very complicated relationship status as he has managed in his facebook account.He also hates orkut.He loves delhi but he hates blasts.He also hates Indian Mujahideen and Manmohan Singh.He likes Rahul gandhi but still wonders how did a famous survey agency named him the most eligible bachelor in the world.
He sucks at electrical concepts.Cant even differentiate between a motor and genrator,which by the way hardly anyone in his current batch can do.He hates the faculty at MIT but loves the chicks.He currently had a drunk-crush on Ahana,a first year chick,and it was/is the longest crush he has ever had.He loves singing.She loves singing too.He wants to go back home soon.He wants to play guitar all night long sitting over the main building of his college humming Kryptonite over and over again and again.
He even has a blog but he hardly ever updates it.He loves typing but loves writing.He loves writing abstractly abstract articles,especially ones that contain amazing and weird words.He is tired of typing right now.He is prepared to die, but there is no cause for which he is prepared to kill.He loves saying stupid things and better if they are really stupid like "Bitch please, I'm amazing and you are?" "I will piss on your grave." "stop being a dick hole." "can you shut the fuck up for like 2.5 seconds?".
Chris rock and he once said together that "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.".
He can't towel-dry his hair, because it'll tangle. So he puts a towel on the bed and smack his head on the bed, like, ten times, so all the water will drain out.He knows he is a jerkass but he cant help it,so he will keep writing and saying like peter pan : "So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!"

The End Is Not Near,Yet.

"Blast ho gaya. Tu.. (There has been a blast. You..)", Yusuf, 26, remembers his brother saying on the phone, before the line went silent.Shoaib, who owns a phone shop with his brother, Yusuf, on the other side of the city, was walking down a street in the sprawling market with a friend when the force of the explosion knocked him out.
I love Delhi and i hate bombs.I love the smell of the crackers but I hate Diwali.I love everyone except those who love bombs.And i hate Indian Mujahideen,whatsoever fuck that be.Their war for their 'kaum' or what they call as jehad mentioned and used to mean "striving in the way of allah(al-jihad fi sabil allah) has done more damage to the entire world than help their kaum.The image of the muslim dominated countries has just tarnished because of a few of those bloated fungi.
The world is nowhere near its end.It still has a long way to go.These people fighting their Holy-war think the begining of the end has started and they claim their deeds for what they think has started,but as it is said "He who thinks himself wise, O heavens! is a great fool”,these people make no exception.It is the end of the beginning which has resulted due to this havoc.The end of the beginning of the peace,the peace which had roped in the world,silently yet so grippingly,like a mother holding on to its sick child.The end of the begining of industrialization and prosperity and happiness and joy and integrity.Yet again brothers are fighting,blood spilling,mercyless killing,jihad,bombs,delhi,redalerts,government,condolences,aids,kins,crying families...Everything seems so disturbed,but yet the world is nowhere its end.It still has a long way to go.

*THE MESS*THE CHIPMUNKS BARRING ME*THE DRUMMY DRUMS*THE DOORWAY TO THE DRUMS*

WHO GOT WHAT?

If a pimpernickle costs a pickle,and picklenickle asks chicklepickle,"oh,chicklepickle, may i have a,nickle?","yes, but," says chicklepickle,"you have to give me a pimpernickle.",Then out of the bush came plipperplipple,,and said, "give me a pickle, i'll give you a pimpernickle," So therefore my freinds,plipperplipple gets a pickle,and chicklepickle gets a pimpernickle,,and picklenickle gets ,nothingickle.

THE BULLSHIT FAG.

My secret life,is truly secret,no one knows,because no one cares,its in the open,in blaten view
but no one pays attention,what I do when I walk away,the things that I say,are hidden down inside,never to resurface never ever,the lies, the pain, the tears,all hidden in my soul,to deep to see,too hated to understand,thats why I dont tell,I keep it to myself,they can all go to Hell!
I really cant bring myself to care,when they dont, it just can happen,it cannot, or will it ever
so many secrets, so many lies,I am forced to keep,buried inside, never to be seen,or heard, so I keep it to myself,with no one to listen, no one to care,I give up,Im done,if you dont care then neither do I,I might as well die,slit my wrist,Im through,shoot myself,its over,hang myself im dead
thanks to you, I knew not what to do,you didnt listen, you didnt care,now Im gone,and your still wrong.period.

I KNEW SHE WAS A BITCH.

Her hot heavy heart hammered heartily,crying "you mustn't be apart from me!",her pounding pulse pattered painfully,as her would be lover escaped up a tree,the bitter brown bark barely brushed,her bouncing bosoms almost touched,her crimson crinolines were crushed,blubbering blindly she blushed,"ooo, stalwart stan of steward's study,if i climb this tree i shall be bloody
i implore thee come and be my buddy,i promise i won't tell anybody!",stan stared steadily down at rose,a suitable denial he tried to compose,his thoughts went astray for that was when rose chose,to shake the tree, thus stan bumped his nose,he bumped his arse and then his head,his scrapes and scratches scrupulously bled,stan feared when he landed he would be dead,far preferrable death to rose instead,gladly she gloated, "galvanized gallant,when will you come to appreciate my talent?,darling dare doer, deliver some dalliance!",then she bared her bosoms and he was caught in the balance,of two trusting tree limbs of tregwellan's trees
a few large leaves bristling in the breeze,not daring to breathe, stan clutched his knees
endangered he endeavored to remain where he please,wistfully he wondered unwisely just when,a pleasing plump plan would plop into his ken,he was horrified at the hideous hovering hen,ol' roving round rosie, a goose not a wren,,unthankfully her thin thistle lips then thundered
"steamy stanley my stud, for you i have hungered,welcome wooer would you wed me i've wondered?,savage stan, i am your saddle, i would be sundered!",just then to stan's joy he heard jostling and jumping,the bashes of berries bushes and bumping,and entered sir henry tregwellan harrumphing,"you dastardly devil i see you need dumping!,,,"you've accosted my acorn, my cutie, my rose,this dirty dank deed right under my nose,dropping dreadfully from trees i drearily suppose,hop down here you hood, so i can run thru your hose!",he then turned to rose with a satisfied sound,"magnificent mooseling with the marvelous mounds
i crave you like candy and i'll see you crowned!,Pray be my prize pretty pansy of pounds!",
she turned to tregwellan her white bosoms heaving,"i'm sorry grave gristle, i must leave you grieving,its stupendous stan for whom i'm achieving,his trembling true trust that i am retrieving!","eek!" cried stan, "you disasterous doxie!,ye mugful of mutton, ye ferocious foxy!
yer plithering and plathering has given me the poxy,quit flinging my tree you flamboyunt flopsie!","technically it is my tree!" trumpeted tregwellan,"and you're hampering my having this hellacious hellion!,scat, you scamper, she's my little scallion,begone beggar or your butts a medallion!",to rose, "you stir, astonish, astound!,ye great bunch of grapes i worship the ground,ye tred tramp or trod on, dont make stan come down!,come let us hide in the heather or i'll loose the hounds!","o treggie, my trout, you are no longer eschewed,,this brazen young brat my poor feelings are bruised,he's an unchivalrous cur whose charms are chewed
he deserves to be tarred, feathered, and glued!,"this bothersome beast beguiled me beneath him,whilst i wondered woefully to his wicked whim,his syrupy salutations sounded of sin
why who knows his plan if you hadnt strolled in?,"he's a low lazy lout, a lascivious looter
he's a cad, a cock, why a cabbage is cuter!,nefarious nerd, i fear he is neuter
while you horny henry are a saliva worth suitor!",henry reached for her rump, crying, "rose it is risky,but your fresh fragrant frock has mae me feel frisky,let us merrily mingle till we're no longer itchy,and then we will dine on turnips and whiskey!",stan stared scaared as they scurried away,thinking "thanks tregwellan, you saved the day!",but prizing his freedom stan was forced to pray,that the plush pastry rose, never came out to play!

I DO SUCK.PERIOD.

All the time akele akele alliteration appears awkwardly,Blunderingly, blusteringly , bewilderingly and boriyat ke wajah se, I Could calmly call it queer,Despite desperate designs of Enigmatically enthusiastic piyush's lyk me,Fumbling in a funny fashion Ghastly and goofily, to include it in their scraps.However, happy help happens here, at hand,I - of course - indicate I'm here, I Jestingly and jovially josh se jump in,jubilating; --Kingly mastership have I, of Limericks: leaning lightly ever so slightly, on the door scrap,Mustering my to-b-muse, mightily moving imaginary mountains,Never needing anything more than my never endin love..Originally fine love was destroyed, ostentatiously,Pitifully, by pilfering people who perverted speech.Quite a shame Queen's English is no longer spake.Right or wrong, i wring my hands,Saying sulkily to tht 's':The language hath taken time to fall,Under stressed is the reason for it all.Verily, the reason for vastly poor alliteration,Would un-wonderingly be what i would call will X has marked the spot:
Yet - now i yawn, tired, yearning for this to finish, and:
Zzzzz