I swear I have a surprise.I swear.

“Babe,close your eyes.I have a surprise for you.”.She was pissed.So was I.But I,unlike her,had a surprise.I swear I had a surprise.I swear I was pissed.Who was she in my dreams?Where was she?Today was light,unsubstantial.Clinging to the edge.Close your eyes and it will fall off.I swear it will.Blink once and that bubble will pop out and die.I swear it will.I cry.Drops swell.My eyes are closed.I blink,and then,Pop.Don't tell me not to fly.I have to.But you are allowed to rain on my parade.Today tastes dangerous.I swear.Don't say Boo when I confess my lie.The sweet lie I love to lie.I swear I do.The crime was juvenile.And so was she.Those curls on her forehead.They said a lot.And meant a lot too.She asked me not to leave.I asked the same.I heard her.She didn't.I swear,she didn't.Tears dropped again.And again,Pop.Everything is grubby.Everything is kaput.I flow unbridled.So does my tear.And it pops.She loves surprises.I swear she does.Everyone does.I swear,again.It is too late to wakeup.To realize the facts.She was not pissed.I just wanted her to be pissed.I swear I did.You can't google the facts.They lie.I swear they do.I loathe everything.I detest everything I loathe.I cry when it rains.I do even when it doesn't.I swear I do.Send me that winter.That icey breeze.Let me hug you for once.Once like no one ever did.Once like no one would ever.I swear,no one would.Ever.Nothing is what I do when she is away.Nothing is what I want when she is here.I swear nothing else I want.Get me that winter.I am not alive to live.Nor to die.I am alive to swear.Swear that I will hug like no one ever would.Get me one thing I want.I will get you more than you want.More than you can ever want.More than you would ever want.I swear.I will.My eyes ache with unshed tears now.Nothing pops.Nothing swells.And why do I mourn.Why do I mourn for the dead.It is not for dead,she said.I swear she did.It is for guilt,she said.I swear she did.Get me one more day.One more day for her.A day I can gift her.A day I can surprise her with.I swear I want to give her a surprise.A surprise for a day.A day for a surprise.Day only we bear witness to.For the things done wrong.For the things not done so well.I sigh.Such a Heartfelt sigh.I mourn again.She chuckles.She hugs.She gives me a day to give back to her.She gives me my winter.Every year I mourn.Every year she gives me my winter.I am transparent.I am gauche.I am sollen.I cry.I cry for her.For one more hug.I wait for the winter.And she gives me winter whenever I want.Like she has given me now.I wait for her.I swear I do.I wait to give her a hug.I swear I do.I wait to give her a day.I swear I do.I have a lot for her.I have a surprise for her.I swear.