Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter says, "I have lusted after women in my heart." President Reagan says, "I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope."
-TIME Magazine,September of '86
I love lying.I love it even when I don't need to lie.I lie even when I don't want to.It has become some kind of Obsessive-Compulsive-Habit.My mom says lying is bad, but,I am helpless.The world is a small place to live.Smaller to lie.You end up getting caught somehow,someday.But I personally feel that lying makes you sharper,keeps your grey cells stimulated 24x7 and makes sure you are always on your toes.Deceiving is an art and I respect people who seem to have mastered it.One of them is The great Osama Bin Laden.In eight years,we couldn't find Osama bin Laden,but in those years we nailed Martha Stewart and Barry Bonds' ass to the wall.The world's worst terrorist is still dragging his dialysis machine through a Pakistani strip mall,but the doily broad and the slugger prick won't bother us again.He is an awesome fuckup and I respect him for all he did to hold Bush's balls for so many years.US needs to think of something else,something innovative,something unconventional to hold Osama's balls now.Next time a country wants to take USA on,instead of sending bombs,they should try this:send everyone in the country a color television and a satellite dish.And give them the basic package,not HBO — screw those people.And before the war starts,make them all sit down."Okay,we'll go to war with you.You want a piece of us,fine,fine.Before we go,I want you guys to understand us a little better,and so for that you have to sit down and watch ESPN for 12 hours and Discovery-US special edition for next 12 hours.'Cause you watch ESPN for a full day,you're gonna understand America a lot better.'Hi,we're America! We build monster trucks for fun!We developed the top fuel dragster-zero to three hundred thirty miles an hour in under five seconds,cause,pfft,we were bored.Piss us off,heh,and see what we build!And we may feel bad about it later!Ask Japan.But before we feel bad...we're gonna jack you up!And then we're gonna send you FOOD! 'Cause we're America; we're schizophrenic.Don't mess with a nation that needs medication!'"
No comments:
Post a Comment