The Glitterati.The smoke.The Newsmakers.

In my opinion,humble but plausible,2008 was the worst year anyone can ever witness.I went and asked my father about his pressed/oppressed thoughts.He said “You think so because you haven't seen 1948 or 1984”.There was a solemn pause,and then I thought my father must have asked his father at some point of history,otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned the 1948.Here is the point, I don't know a lot about 1948 or 1984 except for the facts that 1948 was marked by Gandhi's death and India's Olympic gold in hockey and 1984 was highlighted by Indira Gandhi's death,Bhopal Gas tragedy and Rakesh Sharma's touchdown in space.But if someone asks me if I were given a chance to live through 1948,1984 or 2008 for one year of my life,which one would I take.I would take any but 2008.That's because seeing is believing. And I have seen deaths,births,tragedies,mockeries,showdowns,pull-ups,Bullcrash,Bearsloth and much more in 2008.And I can watch Ram Gopal Verma's 5 movies 5 times but not this painful year once again,because you have things to alleviate the movie-pain but nothing to palliate the heart-hurt.Here is a compendium of the year,in no particular order or genre:The trendsetters,the zenith,nadirs and everything.A potpourri of a ghost concocting putrid fish in a fine Cognac.


Floods devastated the beginnings/Financial markets crashed/The spectre of job insecurities for millions of confident and dynamics young Indians/The rape of a nun/Bomb blasts ripping across city after city/The indelible images of 26/11 and the horror Kasab and men caused/The black President/Abhinav Bindra's gold/The rumbustious tamasha called IPL/The Inflation/The crush-down of Merill lynch and several other companies/The Sarah Palin-Lookalike Strip contest in Las Vegas/Suicide of Indian investors abroad/The 123 Agreement/The discord between UPA and the Left/The Muntader al Zaidei-George bush-Shoe controversy/The Nano trouble/Nicolas Sarkozy's marriage/Laloo launches his blog,an instant sellout on YouTube/Jardari-Zardari/IPL cheerleaders with flashy panties,who were more of distraction than attraction/The reunion of Jade Goody and Shilpa Shetty on Big Boss 2/Amarnath shrine protest/Gujjars in Rajasthan/The Large Hadron Collider Hungama/Rock-On/Cash show in Parliament/Anti-Bihar campaign in Mumbai/Blasts,Blasts and more blasts/Chaand ke paar,Chandrayan/Aravind Adiga awarded Booker for his 'The White Tiger'/The kingfisher-Jet Tieup/Salman vs. Shahrukh/Did Shreesanth Cry?/Harbhajan's Monkey-MaaKi controversy/Ekta Kapoor vs. Star Plus/Shahrukh's 6p Abs/Aamir's 8p Abs/Shahrukh Khan,awarded with the honorary 'Datuk' title and ranked 41st in list of Newsweek's global elite,ahead of Dalai Lama and Oprah Winfrey but just one behind Osama Bin Laden//

Whose Pride,whose prejudice?

Lo and Behold,the year best forgotten is dying.Let it die and its ashes be untouched.Let it cry and screech like the wet chalk on blackboard.Let it pose blatantly but ignore it and call 'juvenile'.Hold only a vague and obscure image,like a tree behind the foggy glass.Kiss it a last goodbye, for the prophet asked to love your fears too.Some laughing man said “Sweet are the uses of adversity”.The purveyors of melancholy had a field day.The dying year,our Annus Horribilis, was derisive in every aspect.The petite bourgeoisie cried,in vain.The proletarians sollen,in pain.Let us forget the gone for the best.Think of it as the dead and you don't speak about the dead.Forget the glass half-full,there is simply no glass.Do not conjure a rainbow for the next year,you will be disappointed.It's best to be pessimistic in some cases.You don't feel bad,whatever turns up.

Anyway,dream big.Pray for the dead and the sufferers.For those in pain.Who have seen death.Who have lost their love.Their hope.Their faith.But before you dream,wake up.Dreams are not those that you get while sleeping.Dreams are those that don't let you sleep.Hoping the very best for all of you.Wishing you a Kasab-free year.

I swear I have a surprise.I swear.

“Babe,close your eyes.I have a surprise for you.”.She was pissed.So was I.But I,unlike her,had a surprise.I swear I had a surprise.I swear I was pissed.Who was she in my dreams?Where was she?Today was light,unsubstantial.Clinging to the edge.Close your eyes and it will fall off.I swear it will.Blink once and that bubble will pop out and die.I swear it will.I cry.Drops swell.My eyes are closed.I blink,and then,Pop.Don't tell me not to fly.I have to.But you are allowed to rain on my parade.Today tastes dangerous.I swear.Don't say Boo when I confess my lie.The sweet lie I love to lie.I swear I do.The crime was juvenile.And so was she.Those curls on her forehead.They said a lot.And meant a lot too.She asked me not to leave.I asked the same.I heard her.She didn't.I swear,she didn't.Tears dropped again.And again,Pop.Everything is grubby.Everything is kaput.I flow unbridled.So does my tear.And it pops.She loves surprises.I swear she does.Everyone does.I swear,again.It is too late to wakeup.To realize the facts.She was not pissed.I just wanted her to be pissed.I swear I did.You can't google the facts.They lie.I swear they do.I loathe everything.I detest everything I loathe.I cry when it rains.I do even when it doesn't.I swear I do.Send me that winter.That icey breeze.Let me hug you for once.Once like no one ever did.Once like no one would ever.I swear,no one would.Ever.Nothing is what I do when she is away.Nothing is what I want when she is here.I swear nothing else I want.Get me that winter.I am not alive to live.Nor to die.I am alive to swear.Swear that I will hug like no one ever would.Get me one thing I want.I will get you more than you want.More than you can ever want.More than you would ever want.I swear.I will.My eyes ache with unshed tears now.Nothing pops.Nothing swells.And why do I mourn.Why do I mourn for the dead.It is not for dead,she said.I swear she did.It is for guilt,she said.I swear she did.Get me one more day.One more day for her.A day I can gift her.A day I can surprise her with.I swear I want to give her a surprise.A surprise for a day.A day for a surprise.Day only we bear witness to.For the things done wrong.For the things not done so well.I sigh.Such a Heartfelt sigh.I mourn again.She chuckles.She hugs.She gives me a day to give back to her.She gives me my winter.Every year I mourn.Every year she gives me my winter.I am transparent.I am gauche.I am sollen.I cry.I cry for her.For one more hug.I wait for the winter.And she gives me winter whenever I want.Like she has given me now.I wait for her.I swear I do.I wait to give her a hug.I swear I do.I wait to give her a day.I swear I do.I have a lot for her.I have a surprise for her.I swear.

Fucking Things To Do.

I plan to do a lot of fucking things in the 3 weeks left for my holidays to disappear and for the Manipal monster to rise from sleep.I hate going to college.Everyone does as a matter of fact.Ok,errata.Not everyone,but everyone who has no one to hold hands or to hold whatever and walk at 10 in the night.Or who are dead sure that they wont get any one to hold theirs(Read:hands and/or whatever) all their life long.But for people like me who get up everyday from the deadly grip of sleep just to be optimistic for a new day and for the hope of someone to hold ours.I dont mean one person holding for all,but seperates for everyone.So I plan and prepare and get all set for helluva lot of fucking things.Now fucking things is a metaphor.Just a figure of speech..Dont take it literally and put up an impression that I am so desperate that I will start fucking things.I might,I am not very sure,but I wont tell you before I do so.So I plan to:

1.Eat.Exercise.Eat again.I want to put up some weight so that I dont disappear in the ennui of my life.
2.Get all the last year issues of Playboy and FHM from Adi and Pinachu and mentally strip(Evil laugh:Hahahaha) all the models to decide which one has best abs.
3.Be patient.Many people including my Ex have told me that I am very short-tempered and impatient.So I am gonna rent all the Ram gopal Verma's movies from Bigflix and watch them so that my next 5 generations will be born patient.
4.Think of new positions and when I come up with some thing really amazing,put them on Cosmopolitan website's poll of the month.
5.Renew my annual subscription to Manohar kahaaniyan,the weekly Magazine where they tell you real-life stories about bad people.People who seduce and then kill.Huhahahaha.
6.Cancel my Readers digest subscription and keep that money in my drawer to rent RGVerma's upcoming movies(Vaastu Shashtra-2,Bhoot hun main,Sholay-A new perspective).
7.Miss delhi even before I leave for Manipal.I love Delhi.I hate manipal,period.

The Nice-Legged Mommy

I am disgusting and I should be punished.Last week I had a severe altercation with one of my friends.The topic was shitty as usual.We fought over if 'Damn It' is god's last name 'cuz its common to hear people say 'God damn It'.So I just thought that may be jesus was named with Damnation.Excuse me for my impunity but I cant help being shameless.I was speaking for the motion and he was motioning against.Anyway I just brought out this topic 'cuz I got a bum-screw in the end and everyone else laughed off at me.The way they always do.So I went online to catch up some more KickAss points.I googled 'Damnation','Damn+God','Damn+It+God+debate','KickAss+god' and several other similar-jested words.But all shit-in-vain.It seems my getting screwed up every time is some kind of predilection.Guys love doing it and chicks feel seeing me doleful is the best thing next to orgasm.Is it?Half an hour later with No KA(read:KickAss) points with me,I chucked thinking about debating with that filthy despicable friend.5 minutes of Downloading later,I was going to log out when My Nice-legged Mommy MSN'ed me “Hey Son.Watchup? XD”.Now this KA nice-legged Mommie aint the real mommie.But she is the nicey,facetious,Seducing mommie and she does have nice-legs.Those long ones with curvy ankles and blowey knees.The kind Guys love to fall for.(By the way 'facetious' has all the vowels in order of their alphabetical appearance.There are only 2 other words in english language.Awesome).She will seduce you to death and the moment you start hitting on her she will retort MSN'ically “Haaaw.You pervert son ;)” And that's it.The wink in the end is another of her seducing tactics.The last blow.Like the people of laconia used to blow up their enemies with.Tempting but plausible and speciously pernicious.You write one more thing and you are crossed off.The best reply:wait for 17 seconds and then wink back.

Now this Mommie hates relationships.And she does not want to go out with me.Nothing new though,I know.No one wants to go out with me.Not that I am a bad guy.I am not.For sure.People say I am a bugger.A sweet one.Some think a sexy one too.Anyway chuck and back to Mommie.The nice-legged-one.She loves saying 'Toodles' whenever she is bored of chatting with me.She loves 'XD' too.And she loves Manchester United as much as I do.No I guess a li'l lesser.Or may be not.I don't know.Nevin's psychological laws state that you feel closer to a girl with similar likes and taste as you than a guy.Now there is no sexual psychology,whatever that means,but only psychological predilection.But having a chick who loves Manchester United, in your friends list(Not the orkut one,But real friend list.You understand what I say.Don't you?) is something which exhilarates you as much as ManU winning Premier League does.And If that chick is the Nice-legged mommie it's like the Garlic-mayo-slurp sauce over a plain burger.Don't infer that I am some sexual predator just 'cuz I am using 'Nice legged' in an unbridled manner.Blame my hormones and my condition(Read:Without a girlfriend for so many straight months.)And anyway guys can't help being guys.Dicks have brains too and they are conflicting with our brains.Anyway I was online today and she banged on again.And she asked why don't I blog.Now there are a few reasons for that too but I'll come to it later.So when she asked I was surprised.Surprised for two reasons.One:OMG,there is some one who reads my blog.Two:Why am I not fucking blogging?.So I said “I gTg.TC.Muaaah” and sat down to write this small dedciation to my Nice-legged mommie.

Coming back to the surprise points.Why did I stop blogging.To begin with I blog only when I get an impetus to blog.And that happens when 1)My mom screws me up and I feel morose,and/or,2)I have atleast 25 new words to add to my vocabulary,and/or,3)Somebody actually wants to read the stuff I write.And none of the three points were triggered for a long time, so no blogging.I know I write really uncanny stuffs that hardly can be left from being tagged Balderdash.But I love everything I write and I love everyone who love what I love 'cuz their love is same as my love and trichotomy propounded thousand years ago that if A=B and B=C,then A=C.I know it sounds like Zeroth law of thermodynamics,but I love Mathematics more than Thermodynamics and so I took the number example.And so when somebody talks about my blog which isn't actually a blog,he/she satisfies the 3^rd criteria of Piyush's Algortihm and I start blogging again.By the way the Nice-legged mommie has an amazing brogue.The first time I spoke to her she sounded like a guy.And she infact is more of a guy,just that she has got features that biologically complicates her being biological me.Excuse my french!She loves bands I love.Just that she likes Linkin Park,which I really hate like shit.Sorry Mommie:)

Anyway Now that I have started Blogging again(Thanks to KA Mommie) I just hope that I hold on to my onus carefully.Catchyouall later.Muaahh Mommie.The Nice-legged One.

IF IT IS NOT ANTICLOCKWISE,YOU BETTER GO AND BRUSH.

I hate E&E(For the wary ones it's Electrical And Electronics),not because there are hardly 10 girls in my branch but because I cant differentiate between a generator and motor just by looking at it.I know its sad for a 3rd year student to not know the basics of electrical but so is the case with my branch mates.I know that even they can't sort out a generator and motor,if asked to,but they don't hate it as much as I do.My dad keeps asking me daily during the 10:30-in-the-night calls that how is college and stuff going and I proclaim myself to be genius in everything that's going in my curriculum.I am just going down on the rope of E&E,but some wise man said 'When you come to the end of a rope,tie a knot and hang on.And that's what I am trying to do for one more year.

I wonder how many of students have made an identity of theirs,after coming to college.As in just for an experiment, type out your name on Google and search.BOOM,what comes out?A void?A void in Google or in your life?That point is worth thinking all your life until you get a Top of the list result in Google search.Just imagine if someone would have asked George Washington of his ID,he would have taken out a dollar note or a quarter and showed.Inspiring but showy.Ain't it?

I think I have got some kind of infection where people just can't concentrate on a particular thing because something keeps itching down the chest.Its not because of cleanliness issues.Its because of some infection as I said.I was watching Heroes 3rd season,6th episode and the directors ended the show at a very critical point,the moment you would have come to know what's gonna happen to Peter Petrelli.But the inference was subdued for one more week,and I caught this infection since then.

Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet.The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.I miss my old school friends and even some whom I just met randomly but could not carry them on along my life.But whenever I used to cry or sit and ponder over such muddly insane issues,my Dad used to say "Don't worry about the people in the past,there's always a reason why they are not with you in the future".I never comprehended what he meant until the day I saw the 6th episode and caught the infection.Since then I have been thinking about the reasons of In-past-Not-in-Future phenomenon only.

By the way I have already bunked 3 Lab experiments and lost out on 15 marks,if I dont go right now and put up my lazy bum on the chair with that Pink Lab journal in front of me,I will flunk and I will have to hang a little longer on the Rope of my branch,which I dont want to do anymore.So I better get going.Catch you people soon.Adios.

I DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING.AND YEAH,I AM SAD.

I am feeling very sad today.I am missing my home.I want Barrack Obama to win US elections this time.I hate Sarah palin even more now.McCain is an asshole(personal opinion).I have my Lab Exams on 3rd and I don't know shit in it.I don't know shit in and about anything infact.I am going to watch Pineapple Express.I love Seth Rogen and can't wait to watch his coming movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno.Anyway happy Diwali to all of you.While the entire nation is celebrating Diwali on 28th,We at MIT,manipal have been given this privilege*Grrrs* to celebrate it a day earlier.Someone said it very correctly 'The world is advancing at an amazing pace'.India in particular.And Manipal specifically.May goddess lakhsmi shower all her blessings on you and cash on me.Adios.

Much sensed that alien.

Courtesy:flyfools.com

THAT WAS THE FUCKING WEEK THAT WAS-23.

I have a crush on Blake Lively.Techtatva was fun and right now I am listening to 'Elevation'.I was organising two events and was given some deadlines before which I was supposed to finish off my job.But I am a Born-Asshole and love to create tension,Hyper-tension in fact,before people actually clap and breathe relief.I love deadlines and love the whooshing sound they make when they fly by your side.I cheated in one o' the events and helped another team grab 6 Grands in another.After someone said very correctly that 'He was a wise man who invented beer' I went to DT and had 6 pints on Saturday.I often get this weird feeling somewhere in my innards that all the people around me are boring and living a monotonous life doing things they ought to do and accepting things in the same order it comes in their life.And when this absurd thought crosses my mind,I drink.I drink to make other people interesting.To fake that I am happy and merry-making like Dionysus and also to sleep like a pig.And I also read somewhere that 'Ate'(ατή in greek) was the goddess of foolishness but have never heard of some foolishness-god as such,and so sometimes I feel that you know maybe I am the male version (ahem ahem *blushes*)people will add up my name in amazing and weird deities once I am dead.

I know people around me and even far-off but who know me, think I am some awesome asshole who has had an experience of all the funny and weird things that happen in everyday and not-so-everyday life but they don't realize that everything is funny only as long as it is happening to somebody else.If they forget to lock down the loo's door and are caught shitting like a dog they wont think its funny,but it will be me then who will laugh his ass off.Bud sadly things don't always turn up they way one wants them to be.Even though i have turned on my Spam filter on Yahoo,I got a mail from Jenny Crawford,who is neither the sister of Cindy Crawford nor the wife of Chase Crawford(He's single and having all the fun in Gossip Girl XOXO,making out with Blake Lively and Leighton) that 4 chicks are available near manipal who will come and f**k me if I just register on her website,and that too surprisingly free of cost.And she said that all the 4 chicks will be shipped(confused?) to me within a week.And she told me that I will get to have fun on every Saturday for 5 weeks with some new chick every time, if i gave her the E-mail address of 10 people who I think will love to register on her website and get F****d by 4 new chicks.And there was another pleasant surprise that if more than 4 of the people I have given reference of,give E-mail address of 10 other people then I will get 4 more chicks from Bangalore(And ahem,they had partitioned Bangalore as Bang-Galore :P).I gave it 5 thoughts before finally deleting that mail and adding Crawford in my Spam list.

Anyway I am bored of my life and want to have some fun.Not the fun you will normally think, as in some Beer fest or Jackass movie, i.e. one chick on the left-one on the right-making you sip Chilled-Gin-sweet-Pin tonic, but some awesome fun to make this shit-like-life a little tastier.Life is gruelling and screws almost everyone before he/she dies.So last night I was thinking all the philosophical things one can think of at my level and I came up with a weird but happy-all thought.I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm.

WHEN I TOOK MY GRE,A TO Z FOLLOWED THUS.

All amidst that arenaceous atrabilious atmosphere, alalia bounced upon my bouncy breath.Boredom benigns boondoggle balderdash and brimborion-ly bromopnea baddens the breath again.Caitiff that i am,Clinquant is what i contempt.Cancrines is that i love,Circumbendibus is what i hate.Discombobulate that I am now.Druggishness is nothing i drool for.Didegeridoo that i play diligently,like a dandiprat going deasil.Edacious is not everytime edifying.In eyot that esurient ensorcelled elv spoke etaoin shrdlu.Fanfaronading flourished,farbs followed,flabbergasted i wrote florilegium.Frigorific i was feeling,but the french fumed and fustigated me.Gobbledygook grawlix i grew in the golden guts of gothicism.Gurning started ,Gantloped i was,they grozed me like some golden glass.Haggard i was looking,handfasted they,with me.Haunted that i was by their horrific horns,Higgledy-Piggledy they honeyfuggled me.Hyperborean they were,later had i known,Handsel monday was the day when hats were headed-off.Ignivomous i became then.The I was no more me.Ingrained was I in that inglenook inn.Jacitated i jotted down the jumblings and saw the jackalope.jobbernowl they thought I the Janus-faced was,but Jocund i really was.Kelemenopical was the kite moving.Kerfuffled was the kakistocratic klan.Lackadaisicaly i loved the lagniappe i got by lollygoging.Mesmerised they were,Metemptosis was what they always practised.Mortsafed will be my mundungus morgue by the time maundy comes,they promised,Malapert i felt.Namby-pamby i was not.Ninnyhammer was neither me.Nincompoop was never what i wanted to be.Nothing was a Nihilartikel in my dictionary.Nemesis that i will be.Oche they made and opened the orchard.Omnium-gatherum was on the other orchard shelf.Orotund they thought i spake,Oh origins! owe them to me.Patibulary was proclaimed in the pub.People they came to pee on me.Pilcrow i put on the poem of persians.The poppycock Pilgarlic they said had a preposterously petard.Thus the Quidnunc started,Quincunx was i moved to where they started the Quodlibet showing me the queen's quillon.Rambunctious then i became,rebarbative was berbatov,Rodomontadely everyone rummed there,Rigmarole was to ruin all o' the romans,a Rhopalic then i wrote.They got a soda and sabraged,Scachhic was the surmounted atmosphere.Simoleon was all i had,squabash i slothered all.Still was the turmoil.Thundering no more was the thunder.tatterdemalion was the therianthrope.Thelemic, the time was turned down.Truckle i tasted.Turlough i tripped into,twitterpated that i was.Ultimately came the Ultiomo,Umami i ate.Umquhile they wanted uranium untill the usurfructuary saw the unobtanium.Vaccary was i vultured into.Valetudinarianly i volitated.Vilipend was nomore the virgin now.Wassail started finally,Welkin's door were wrought open.The wiseacre was wittoled now,the Will-o'-the-wisp was wished.Xenoglossy they found i knew.Yaffled they themsleves,and Yawned for the festival yclept yuletide.Zany i zebraed through the zungles of the z's and before i could have reached the end of Zig-Zaggy zone i unknowingly ZZZ'd.

BANNED-UNBANNED

Ok i am bored again and the government has even banned smoking publicly.So i guess there wont be any more 10:30 smoke break for us guys 'cause there won't be people smoking around sheelas/As in,ofcourse there would be people who would be desperate to just pay 5 bucks,get a milds and smoke-out there frustration of 2 hours but there won't be any place to do that.Alas!thats against what our Mr.Ambedkar proposed some 57-58 years ago.I wish he were here to kick some ass..Anyway have a read here,specially the 3rd point 'Equality of opportunity in matters of public employment.'Now doesn't that mean that everyone is equal when it comes to public employment shit 'n all?Now if they ban up smoking,that is a clear discrimination against the poor workers burning/smoking their asses for hours in sum cigarette factory.

All guys in my hostel think and treat my room as some kind of public place.They sit here for hours,cracking jokes which only they can infer as if they are in some cryptography competition and that is all an excuse to just smoke.They hate the smell of cigarette in their rooms and so come over to my 'Public-place-kind-of-room'.Now i wonder if i am supposed to smoke in my room or not.What if i M smoking peacefully in my room at like 12:30 in the night,watching heroes season3,episode3 and some copguys come bang open my door and fix me in jail?Shit headed I'll look like the guy in the pic above, just that i wont be holding that magic stick in my hand.
Smoke helps everyone everytime.When ManU wins,u smoke to celbrate.When ManU loses,you smoke to Console.Then there is party-smoke,mourning-smoke,pre-sessionals-smoke,post-sessionals-smoke,shit-smoke(which you smoke while shitting in the morning,that usually makes up for the first smoke of the day)/Oh fuck i forgot even toilet is a public place in hostels unless you have managed a 9.5 CGPA and secured an attached lavtory room./

I wait to wonder and wonder to wait for this ban to be lifted soon.I hate people who hate smoking and i am sure tens of 1000 of manipal guys and other guys as well agree with me on this.And yeah there is a break-up smoke too,which goes on well with the breakup-smoke-song.

No smoke without you, my fire.
After you left,
your cigarette glowed on in my ashtray
and sent up a long thread of such quiet grey
I smiled to wonder who would believe its signal
of so much love. One cigarette
in the non-smoker's tray.
As the last spire
trembles up, a sudden draught
blows it winding into my face.
Is it smell, is it taste?
You are here again, and I am drunk on your tobacco lips.
Out with the light.
Let the smoke lie back in the dark.
Till I hear the very ash
sigh down among the flowers of brass
I'll breathe, and long past midnight, your last kiss.

WADDUP BENGALI BABU?

From IBN Live:

Sourav Ganguly will be a part of the team for the first two Tests Australia series but there is a rider. He will have to quit from Test cricket after the tour.

According to sources, the following conversation motivated this bold move:
Yashpal: Main samajhta hoon ki woh off stump ke baahar badhiya drive karte hain.
Srikanth: Whatdoyousay, we'll retire him after two tests?
Hirwani: *snicker*
Yashpal: Woh bahut acche all rounder hain.
Srikanth: Whatdoyousay, we'll let the media's sources know?
Hirwani: *chuckle*
Yashpal: Main samajtha hoon yeh pull aur hook shot se badhiyar drive hai.
Srikanth: Ok, I will communicate it to whatdoyousay, the media...
Hirwani: *giggle*
Yashpal: Main samajtha hoon.
Hirwani: Now, Mr Ganguly, the tables are turned. Muhahahahahahaha.

For those who don't know why Hirwani was so happy in the selector's meet above, he had publicly criticised Ganguly in the press for not selecting him in the Indian team. Now he is in a position to decide whether the ex-captain should be in the team at all. Ah, poetic (in)justice.

Courtesy. click

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One more shot i took...

"Awsum aswum" bolstered I at Brian's beatific beautiful composition,charming and conscientiously who depicted his deliberated dream.Enthusiastically yet enigmatically i flustered over finely gutted gold gasped words.Hurriedly and hastily but impurterbably I look lackadaisically muzzling numbly onto that pulchritudinous poem.Queerly i questioned my roguishness rapport, rapturing my soul,shattering the symmetricity of symmetric.Turmoiling the thundering trumpets,tranquillizing the tragic torments,unlike the unlikely,very vague like the voluptuous virgin,wanton as weed as if Xenops rose xericly.Xerophytic it was so yawned a dead yolk-like yelling zebra...nd then zoomed away me zzzzz too.

So there was this guy..

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go. Oh the places you'll go....I like nonsense - it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope... and that enables you to laugh at all of life's realities.
Anyway chuck this shit apart,lemme tell u the story of a stud,who wasn't really a stud in the stud way but still he was a stud.His name was 'xD'.He was born in guwahati airport inside an indian airlines waiting room,and the airline's board of management sponsored him a lifelong free-travel card,which he has still kept laminated with him inside his 'box-of-secrets'.
He always came in top 3 in his class till he was in 11th and never came in top 20 after 11th.He loves 3doors down.He loves Shashi Tharoor.He loves Emannuelle Chirqui.His top item in his bucket list is to watch ManU Vs. Arsenal in Old Trafford 5 years from now.He hates Dimitar berbatov.He hates Sarah Palin.He also hates How I Met Your Mother.
He has asked out 7 chicks till date,6 actually went out with him(One left the school before replying back).He knows multiplication table till 37.His mom and dad had a love marriage 3 weeks after they passed out from IIT in 1987.Dad from IIT-Kanpur and mom from Roorkee.He studies in MIT,manipal and hates motors and generators.He wants to do MBA from IIM-Bangalore.He knows he stands no chance for Ahmedabad.He loves the word 'psephology'.
Currently he has a very complicated relationship status as he has managed in his facebook account.He also hates orkut.He loves delhi but he hates blasts.He also hates Indian Mujahideen and Manmohan Singh.He likes Rahul gandhi but still wonders how did a famous survey agency named him the most eligible bachelor in the world.
He sucks at electrical concepts.Cant even differentiate between a motor and genrator,which by the way hardly anyone in his current batch can do.He hates the faculty at MIT but loves the chicks.He currently had a drunk-crush on Ahana,a first year chick,and it was/is the longest crush he has ever had.He loves singing.She loves singing too.He wants to go back home soon.He wants to play guitar all night long sitting over the main building of his college humming Kryptonite over and over again and again.
He even has a blog but he hardly ever updates it.He loves typing but loves writing.He loves writing abstractly abstract articles,especially ones that contain amazing and weird words.He is tired of typing right now.He is prepared to die, but there is no cause for which he is prepared to kill.He loves saying stupid things and better if they are really stupid like "Bitch please, I'm amazing and you are?" "I will piss on your grave." "stop being a dick hole." "can you shut the fuck up for like 2.5 seconds?".
Chris rock and he once said together that "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.".
He can't towel-dry his hair, because it'll tangle. So he puts a towel on the bed and smack his head on the bed, like, ten times, so all the water will drain out.He knows he is a jerkass but he cant help it,so he will keep writing and saying like peter pan : "So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!"

The End Is Not Near,Yet.

"Blast ho gaya. Tu.. (There has been a blast. You..)", Yusuf, 26, remembers his brother saying on the phone, before the line went silent.Shoaib, who owns a phone shop with his brother, Yusuf, on the other side of the city, was walking down a street in the sprawling market with a friend when the force of the explosion knocked him out.
I love Delhi and i hate bombs.I love the smell of the crackers but I hate Diwali.I love everyone except those who love bombs.And i hate Indian Mujahideen,whatsoever fuck that be.Their war for their 'kaum' or what they call as jehad mentioned and used to mean "striving in the way of allah(al-jihad fi sabil allah) has done more damage to the entire world than help their kaum.The image of the muslim dominated countries has just tarnished because of a few of those bloated fungi.
The world is nowhere near its end.It still has a long way to go.These people fighting their Holy-war think the begining of the end has started and they claim their deeds for what they think has started,but as it is said "He who thinks himself wise, O heavens! is a great fool”,these people make no exception.It is the end of the beginning which has resulted due to this havoc.The end of the beginning of the peace,the peace which had roped in the world,silently yet so grippingly,like a mother holding on to its sick child.The end of the begining of industrialization and prosperity and happiness and joy and integrity.Yet again brothers are fighting,blood spilling,mercyless killing,jihad,bombs,delhi,redalerts,government,condolences,aids,kins,crying families...Everything seems so disturbed,but yet the world is nowhere its end.It still has a long way to go.

*THE MESS*THE CHIPMUNKS BARRING ME*THE DRUMMY DRUMS*THE DOORWAY TO THE DRUMS*

WHO GOT WHAT?

If a pimpernickle costs a pickle,and picklenickle asks chicklepickle,"oh,chicklepickle, may i have a,nickle?","yes, but," says chicklepickle,"you have to give me a pimpernickle.",Then out of the bush came plipperplipple,,and said, "give me a pickle, i'll give you a pimpernickle," So therefore my freinds,plipperplipple gets a pickle,and chicklepickle gets a pimpernickle,,and picklenickle gets ,nothingickle.

THE BULLSHIT FAG.

My secret life,is truly secret,no one knows,because no one cares,its in the open,in blaten view
but no one pays attention,what I do when I walk away,the things that I say,are hidden down inside,never to resurface never ever,the lies, the pain, the tears,all hidden in my soul,to deep to see,too hated to understand,thats why I dont tell,I keep it to myself,they can all go to Hell!
I really cant bring myself to care,when they dont, it just can happen,it cannot, or will it ever
so many secrets, so many lies,I am forced to keep,buried inside, never to be seen,or heard, so I keep it to myself,with no one to listen, no one to care,I give up,Im done,if you dont care then neither do I,I might as well die,slit my wrist,Im through,shoot myself,its over,hang myself im dead
thanks to you, I knew not what to do,you didnt listen, you didnt care,now Im gone,and your still wrong.period.

I KNEW SHE WAS A BITCH.

Her hot heavy heart hammered heartily,crying "you mustn't be apart from me!",her pounding pulse pattered painfully,as her would be lover escaped up a tree,the bitter brown bark barely brushed,her bouncing bosoms almost touched,her crimson crinolines were crushed,blubbering blindly she blushed,"ooo, stalwart stan of steward's study,if i climb this tree i shall be bloody
i implore thee come and be my buddy,i promise i won't tell anybody!",stan stared steadily down at rose,a suitable denial he tried to compose,his thoughts went astray for that was when rose chose,to shake the tree, thus stan bumped his nose,he bumped his arse and then his head,his scrapes and scratches scrupulously bled,stan feared when he landed he would be dead,far preferrable death to rose instead,gladly she gloated, "galvanized gallant,when will you come to appreciate my talent?,darling dare doer, deliver some dalliance!",then she bared her bosoms and he was caught in the balance,of two trusting tree limbs of tregwellan's trees
a few large leaves bristling in the breeze,not daring to breathe, stan clutched his knees
endangered he endeavored to remain where he please,wistfully he wondered unwisely just when,a pleasing plump plan would plop into his ken,he was horrified at the hideous hovering hen,ol' roving round rosie, a goose not a wren,,unthankfully her thin thistle lips then thundered
"steamy stanley my stud, for you i have hungered,welcome wooer would you wed me i've wondered?,savage stan, i am your saddle, i would be sundered!",just then to stan's joy he heard jostling and jumping,the bashes of berries bushes and bumping,and entered sir henry tregwellan harrumphing,"you dastardly devil i see you need dumping!,,,"you've accosted my acorn, my cutie, my rose,this dirty dank deed right under my nose,dropping dreadfully from trees i drearily suppose,hop down here you hood, so i can run thru your hose!",he then turned to rose with a satisfied sound,"magnificent mooseling with the marvelous mounds
i crave you like candy and i'll see you crowned!,Pray be my prize pretty pansy of pounds!",
she turned to tregwellan her white bosoms heaving,"i'm sorry grave gristle, i must leave you grieving,its stupendous stan for whom i'm achieving,his trembling true trust that i am retrieving!","eek!" cried stan, "you disasterous doxie!,ye mugful of mutton, ye ferocious foxy!
yer plithering and plathering has given me the poxy,quit flinging my tree you flamboyunt flopsie!","technically it is my tree!" trumpeted tregwellan,"and you're hampering my having this hellacious hellion!,scat, you scamper, she's my little scallion,begone beggar or your butts a medallion!",to rose, "you stir, astonish, astound!,ye great bunch of grapes i worship the ground,ye tred tramp or trod on, dont make stan come down!,come let us hide in the heather or i'll loose the hounds!","o treggie, my trout, you are no longer eschewed,,this brazen young brat my poor feelings are bruised,he's an unchivalrous cur whose charms are chewed
he deserves to be tarred, feathered, and glued!,"this bothersome beast beguiled me beneath him,whilst i wondered woefully to his wicked whim,his syrupy salutations sounded of sin
why who knows his plan if you hadnt strolled in?,"he's a low lazy lout, a lascivious looter
he's a cad, a cock, why a cabbage is cuter!,nefarious nerd, i fear he is neuter
while you horny henry are a saliva worth suitor!",henry reached for her rump, crying, "rose it is risky,but your fresh fragrant frock has mae me feel frisky,let us merrily mingle till we're no longer itchy,and then we will dine on turnips and whiskey!",stan stared scaared as they scurried away,thinking "thanks tregwellan, you saved the day!",but prizing his freedom stan was forced to pray,that the plush pastry rose, never came out to play!

I DO SUCK.PERIOD.

All the time akele akele alliteration appears awkwardly,Blunderingly, blusteringly , bewilderingly and boriyat ke wajah se, I Could calmly call it queer,Despite desperate designs of Enigmatically enthusiastic piyush's lyk me,Fumbling in a funny fashion Ghastly and goofily, to include it in their scraps.However, happy help happens here, at hand,I - of course - indicate I'm here, I Jestingly and jovially josh se jump in,jubilating; --Kingly mastership have I, of Limericks: leaning lightly ever so slightly, on the door scrap,Mustering my to-b-muse, mightily moving imaginary mountains,Never needing anything more than my never endin love..Originally fine love was destroyed, ostentatiously,Pitifully, by pilfering people who perverted speech.Quite a shame Queen's English is no longer spake.Right or wrong, i wring my hands,Saying sulkily to tht 's':The language hath taken time to fall,Under stressed is the reason for it all.Verily, the reason for vastly poor alliteration,Would un-wonderingly be what i would call will X has marked the spot:
Yet - now i yawn, tired, yearning for this to finish, and:
Zzzzz