Vibrators/Giving Head/The Bend/Porn-watching-chicks

'Why did got create man?Because Vibrators can't mow lawns.'
-MADONNA(In Dangerous Game,1993)

I don't like Madonna in general,but when dumb people speak wisdom I tend to love them.Mind it,I Tend to,I don't actually do.I don't mean to be personal or bad-witted but I think all women are good-Good for nothing.But trust me they know the absolute real shit.They know how to get things done,even when it's actually not possible.People ask me how do women succeed in life by just being optimistic about that thing?They also ask what drives their success?I say the word is BEND.All they need is one bend.One bend in front of their boss,their colleagues or their whatsoever/whosoever.Don't misjudge the power of this Bend.It's not the samurai/Japanese/Zen/Asians Bend.It's called the 'Coup de grace'-Bend.Men are already wounded creatures and all they need to end their sorrows is one look at the forbidden.For example,consider a situation where the boss is working some finance shit on his laptop.The lady employee enters the cabin and says "Sir,I wanted a leave this weekend",followed by a bend in front of the boss.Now at that instant of the bend,the laptop's screen shifts to the forbidden place.The boss stares at the 'screen' for 3 seconds rating the thing as awesome and grants her leave.Now this was a very hypothetical situation but shit like this happens.I swear.

George Carolin thinks women have,on average,higher IQ than men.His source is this.I wonder how do people actually come up with these results.Do they actually monitor chicks watching porn for over 6 months,see the IQ growth and present the abstract for their weird hypothesis or whatever on some low-traffic sites where no one but jobless people like me click and go?Men on the other hand are really kewl 'Nigga-like' creatures.They think with their head'.Look with their head.Say with their head.But if there's one thing they can do anything for,it's a good HEAD.My report-"On average,Men are more stupid than Women."In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.Anyway there is no point wondering about the hows and whys of Men ,and especially Women.

God made us this way because he wanted to put suspense into our lives.Or maybe,he is just monitoring us like the above mentioned researchers(read:Who monitor porn-watching-chicks) to see how we react during adversities.The battle of sexes is everlasting and it will always be about petty things like 1)Why men can read maps better than women 2)Why can't men use the Coup de grace Bend for their success 3)Why do jobless people like me have to slog out hours criticizing women and etc etc.By the way Men can read maps,better than women because only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.Awesomeness simplified.

DISCLAIMER
I am sorry if my post hurts sentiments of either sex.I am also sorry to the so-called weaker sex for telling everyone about the secret of their success(Read:The BEND).Everything in this post has been written just for humor purpose and bear no resemblance to characteristics of any sex,weak or strong.And now,as I have written the Disclaimer,I can't be sued even if I meant every single pie I mentioned.